Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
Seegtease 0
#103: "if you're going to have a kid, you're not going to be able to screw whenever you want to." Says who? You? Sure, you have new responsibilities but that just comes with life. And set an example? Yeah, how about the example the good healthy married parents are having sex because they love each other? That's not teacher her to go get some random guy and do the same thing. And if they aren't talking to their daughter about sex, that's their own stupidity. 105, if that's really the daughter, you had friends over? Now that's pretty awful of them, in that case. If it were just you, I'd say get over it, but not with guests in the house.
crazy17 0
hahahaha... thats me. im the 14 year old girl who did that XD no joke... i cant believe they put it on here!!!
KwitIt 0
I was really, really scarred by having to listen to my parents having sex, despite me telling them that it made me uncomfortable and I hoped they'd do it when I was out of the house. I'm not a prude, I'm sexually active, but it definitely altered my view of sex in a way that it took me a while to get over. Seriously, every time it happened, I had to go out in the garage where I couldn't hear it anymore until my dad came out to smoke a cigarette afterwards... and then I couldn't even look at him! So maybe it depends on the kid. I never would have had the guts to send my dad a message like that, but I think this is your daughter sending you a clear message that it makes her uncomfortable. At 14, she is too young to get a job and get her own place, so she's FORCED to live with you, so I think it would be nice if you could give her a comfortable home environment.
genius_man16 1
You said you "got over it". So you weren't scarred. Also you said you left the house, so... what's the problem? Unless you sat there for 15 mins each time before you left, in which case it's totally your fault
LiLOnE 0
shit id tell yewr nasty ass to stop too if i was in the house.....sickass mofo
MJ_Alexander 0
this is the funniest FML ive seen thus far <3 thanks for making me lfmao
MJ_Alexander 0
but come on people wtf. you know what youre going for when you have kids youre signing up for 18 years of that now stfu you puritanical morons who say its ok for parents to have sex with their kids around or hearing it... what the **** is WRONG with you?
bobefff 0
completely agree with #15
mzmaverickd 7
Being a regular run of the mill college student who has heard parent to parent sex and parent to step parent sex yea it's a little disturbing but not so bad as to scar me for life so to all those comments, wow, grow up- how do you think you got here? She should have put on some headphones... She was being a smartass texting like that and deserves a nice embarrassing little talk and some time w/o the phone. I would NEVER disrespect my parents like that. Worst I did was started to read my bible out loud and they screamed louder. Am I scarred? No. Did they scream again? No. Just be a little quieter... She had no right to text that. If it was that serious she could have pulled you aside later.
twinzorz1 0
LOL you fail. dont have sex when your kid is IN THE GODDAMN HOUSE.
Paleolithicster 0
Personally, I feel no one in these comments has the right to judge what should and shouldn't be going on in a household, because obviously if you're married with children you grew up in a time period where society's views on things like this were different. So don't try to persuade people what is right and what is wrong. Also, for those that are kids (like me, being 16) who believe that parents shouldn't be having sex while they are home is perfectly acceptable given that they are children in a new age society. Therefore, the best solution to the "Sex with children home?" question would be to wait 20 or so years when teenagers and kids today would start to settle down with a family and see how they felt about the situation. Which truthfully wouldn't be perfect either since societies views on subjects are always changing. Yes, having sex is a perfectly normal thing to do, but I personally believe that out of respect for your children you should try to keep it as discreet as possible. For those that believe that it is their home and their children should respect that clearly forget that it wasn't their child's choice to be born into this home and if they are under 18 they have no choice but to be in that home. Who says hiding the sex would lead them down the wrong path later in life? Either choice could potentially lead them down the "Wrong path" but since there are two sides and two or more opinions to every story who is to judge which is the "Wrong path" in the end? Lastly, concerning those who called the girl a "Brat", do you personally know any of the people involved in the story? I'm probably not going to lose any money when I say that you probably have never met them in your life. So how are you going to judge on whether or not they are a brat? I, being a 16 year old boy, would probably make the same decision in texting my parents and telling them to "Stop.", short and sweet like it was. (or as we were told it was sent) This is simply because my personality is like that, and no one would ever go to the extent of ever calling me a "Brat" or a "Bitch" for doing so. And since no information was given on the backgrounds of anyone involved in this story, the "14 year old daughter" could be any 14 year old daughter in the world saying that. So your saying anyone who texted back like such would be an automatic "Brat" in your book? ' Lastly, to the person who said they would have sex on the dinner table with their daughter sitting on the chair, I am pretty sure that that is not teaching your child anything healthy about sex, at all. That is just my opinion though.