dad
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
ed5509
Chesapeake, United States
Revelations
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
MGZ
United States
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
OhFseriously123
Italy 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Oops54321
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
angrymother
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Anonymous
Spencer, United States
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
All kinds of wrong
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
awskme
France 🌶️ Spicy
Disrespectful
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
aprouddaddy
Paris, France
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
IRemainNameless 12
@15- Agreed. Having had such a situation myself, I know this to be true. It's just freaky for a kid. @16- Get over yourself. There's no data to give, as I'm sure you well know. It just is scarring.
Taihen 0
@53, agreement there. It would have scarred me for life to have heard my parents doing it. That in being said, one daughter. If you have more I can see it being difficult getting in time alone in the house with your wife... but with just one daughter, wait till she's on a sleepover or at school or something. Or wait till late at night when she's asleep.
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
#53, just like her parents have a RIGHT to have sex when they want? Like somebody else said, they probably don't get to do it as much as they like. Let them have their moments.
username_17 0
#13 is a God.
Amkii 0
LOL! I love it! Your daughter rocks. But seriously, why were you checking your phone during sex? Kinda weird.
RenoEnvy 0
#16.... Really? Research? Its called COMMON SENSE. No one wants to hear that! And if you MUST, parents, BE QUIET while you do it. Use discretion. Put the TV on. Something. If not, again, wait till your daughter or son is not home. This is all I have to say in the matter.
abcdefgh_fml 0
Dude your daughter definitely does not want to hear that shit! ewww be quieter or wait till she is out of the house or something!
the0ther 0
kids are little sex-ruiners.
MonkeySpeaks 4
DUDE, your child is 14 - it IS disturbing for them to have to listen. Im not saying NOT TO have sex but out of respect for your kid you can be quiet. I've had amazing "quiet" sex before. The fact that she heard you means you were just too loud. Be a bit more creative next time and keep the tone down, no one is saying not to have sex to all the disgruntled parents in here, but we are saying you should respect your children. It sucks that you don't seem to. Cause btw saying "Its my house and i'll do whatever I please" is a TOTAL lack of respect for yourchilds space. You want to live the "its my life and i'll do what i want" thing? then don't have kids yet. being a parent means respecting the family you create and giving them a safe and comfortable environment. If you're having sex loud enough for your kid to hear then you really aren't providing a comfortable environment for your child are you? I thought the little girl was funny.
friscosoonerkid 3
Maybe she heard the springs in their bed Squeaking
Sean123 0
ur retarded " HEY honey lets have sex with our daughter is in the house and while we at it lets leave the door open and wear microphone" " and lets have her friends over too" u diserved that one but hey lets hope she makes the same mistake u did if u want to control her