Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
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Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
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Comments (219)
madalou2012 0
she's jealous that she isn't getting any ass.
poprockbomber_x 0
i did that to my parents! :D
SeiferAlmasy 0
YDI for letting your fourteen year old have her own cell phone.
lexxi_fml 0
#13 is a creeper.......
MissMel_fml 0
hahaha ive so done that to my rents too! i was then told that i was having a nightmare and to go back to bed :P
cspinky 0
GOOD FOR HER. daym if my rents did tht i...idk what i would do..lol atLEAST wait til she leaves the houseee!!!
MechaMew2 0
@#11 "Today I was having sex with my husband, and right in the middle, he picks up his phone to check a text message. Turns out it was our daughter telling us to stop. FML." Fix'd.
Katlynnnn 0
Silly daughter. Silly parents.
ad_infinitum 0
#147: You are immature. You are alive because your parents had sex, think about it. But yes, being quiet after having children is really important.
wollzilla 0
poor parents.