Stop
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife when my 14 year-old daughter texted me from her room, "Stop." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I told my 13 year-old daughter that she was grounded from using her phone. Later on, I get an important call regarding a job that I have been after. After I'd picked up the phone, my daughter starts screaming, "HELP! RAPE! HELP!" on the other phone. I don't think I'll be getting the job. FML
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfriend of nine months. She was making a lot of noise, so I told her to keep it down, and reminded her that my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later, I got a text from my sister, saying my parents wanted to make sure I was wearing a condom. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MissFae 0
Why are you checking texts in the middle of sex? We're gonna see your wife posting here next...
Edmund_Dantes 0
"in a minute!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (219)
cave72 3
They have the right to have sex in their house when they want. The second most common reason for divorce is because of lack of sex. Which would happen if they didn't have sex when they could instead of when it's convienient for their child. If you want to scar a child then get a divorce.
tutti77 3
I can make her shut up ;) I'm 14 by the way
mylifeisgreat9 13
I do that all the time to my parents :)
jc74 0
You gotta do what you gotta do!
donnatheasian 12
Omg my parents have sex all the time when I'm in the next room. And I can't do anything about it because I'm supposed to be sleeping. It sucks I tell you. And since my sisters sleep with me also, I have to distract them to prevent them from hearing my parents have sex. FML
Lipbalm80 3
I do that to my mom i text her over 100 times putting STOP
ViQValentine 3
I think I've had to do that once.. *shiver*..
apocalyptica_fml 9
YDI. As a 15 year old who often wakes up to hearing her parents have sex... I can say that it isn't very pleasing to hear. Maybe if you wait until she is out of the house, in the shower, etc, you may be able to do more and not disturb her with unpleasant noises and maybe she will show the same respect when she is older or when she becomes sexually active.
friscosoonerkid 3
You could of text her saying, "why? Are you Jealous, sucks to be you"
cnator 12
I hope all the people who say it's their house, they can do w/e they want, are forced to be locked in a house and to listen to their parents have sex. The daughter is 14. Is she expected to move out at that age?