Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML
Today, I went to Sunday school for the first time. The priest assured us we could ask him anything, so I did. When class ended the priest pulled me and my mom aside and asked her to stop bringing me to Sunday school until "she learns not to question the bible and accept what she is told." FML
Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my son announced he was leaving our religion. I told him that, as sad I was, that I accepted and loved him. He seemed disappointed, and I noticed him discreetly fiddling with a camera. A little snooping led me to his Reddit account, where he called us all, "inbred, illiterate, bible-thumpers." FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
Today, I asked my 2-year-old if he loved me. His response? “No mama, stop.” FML
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Top comments
sleekRelease 0
Never knew a kid could be that smart.
SourSourDiesel 0
your son is a bright young man
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Comments (65)
amazingjane 0
I will pray for him
ssdd_dilligaf 0
Isn't it rather hilarious that the people so in touch with their religion are so dumb they "pass judgement" on a five year old child? if you are true to your own faith then you would not say the child is doomed to eternal fire or whatever it is you believe. i thought only your god could pass judgement? or have you been so stupid as to believe only what some man in the building you go to every Sunday, before the "Holy Bible"? idiots I swear. and OP YDI...for multiple reasons.
ballsmahoney 0
wow... that was the most intelligent comment I've read so far! very good point :)
ElMundio87 0
what #56 said - spot on
12stargirl 0
way to go #6
thebravery 0
24- Wow. You're the biggest asshat I've met in a long time. See, I'm a Christian and I'm sure there are others on here are as well and that's very offense. Are you listening to the nonsense that happens to be spewing from your mouth, douche bag? I am NOT stupid or an idiot or a dumb ass or whatever. So stfu. I'm not going to contradict your religion, or lack thereof, (COS THAT'S ******* RUDE!) I'm just wanted to let you know how much of an utter bitch you are. :)
venoom 0
he was a bit rude, that's true, but totally to the point ;) Get a life and stop believing crap perpetuated by your ancestors. Enjoy the short time you'll be spending on earth, don't waste it on religions.
KVKdragon 26
I'm with what TheBravery just said.
ballsmahoney 0
that's just a big contradiction. I'm a Christian and..... COS THATS ****** RUDE!
dubstep87 0
religion is just a myth.. get over yorselves.. something were taught to believe . "higher power" so when we die, we die peacful.. but!!! that's why you live life to the fullest!!!!
KVKdragon 26
may God watch over him so that he may enter the heavenly clouds over the fiery sea.
FYLDeep 25
Bring him to the Catholic Church. They're really good at making little boys submit to the "masterplan".
godfather31 0
win
caviar_fml 2
good on you for raising smarter kids than your parents!
Zeb_McBride 0
smart kid!!!!!
d4m4s74 12
ydi for being dumber then your 5 year old child