Work: Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about...

By muaythaiboss - United States - Alexandria

Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML

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muaythaiboss tells us more :

OP here. if anyone is wondering how he broke his leg. he basically got his leg trapped, and when he was thrown, he landed on only one leg. the doctors said it was a pretty clean fracture, so he will be back in 2 months. but needless to say we lost 6 of the 8 students.

Work

Understandable

Impressive

Hi mom!

By ripped off and blown out

Today, I was driving to visit my parents for the first time in two years. After spending about $4000 to make sure my car wouldn't break down on the journey, around the halfway point, the front tire popped and the engine blew out. I'm about 5 states away from both my parents and my home. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friends happily announced that although they had been cut, they were still going to be playing on the school's volleyball team. The rumor going around is that everyone who tried out made the team. I never got a call back. FML

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By Delicious - Australia - Saint Kilda

Today, I used fly spray on my muffin tray instead of olive oil. FML

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By kfenton - United States

Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML

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By disappointment son

Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

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By dangyo - United States

Today, my dad learned how to use the parental controls. I now have an 11 o'clock curfew. I am 17. FML

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By The Draught of Living Death

Today, I shared an elevator alone with an attractive co-worker. On our way up, she let out a loud, noxious rip. She covered her nose and mouth while giving me an accusing look, as I said with a straight face, "Excuse you." Later, I received a note from HR for harassment. FML

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By Gamergirl137 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend and we passed the shop where my ex works at. My boyfriend slapped my ass right as my ex came out. It was so sudden that I started choking on a fry and dropped soda all over myself. My ex kept laughing all while my boyfriend kept apologizing. FML

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By wheelmaker

Today, the girl I've had several passionate encounters over the past few weeks admitted we cannot entirely be together as she is married. She wants to make it work with me but cannot divorce as she would lose her visa. FML

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By wrestling probs - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

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By aliixmaee - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

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By ohcrap - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

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By emselin - Denmark - Niv

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

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By .... - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

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By harro101 - Australia

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

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By PhailedMidterm - United States - Mattapan

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

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By normal - France - Ambres

Today, it's been two days since my upstairs neighbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments. I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella. FML

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By IloveJapan - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

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By alycion

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

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By badsinger - New Zealand

Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML

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By lolatmylife - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

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By JustAnotherFML23 - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

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By CantPublish - United States - Modesto

Today, my wife and I decided to try role-playing. I started cleaning the pool. waiting for her to come out and be sexy, but she never did. I'd cleaned the entire pool before going into the house to ask why she never came out. She said she tricked me into cleaning the pool. FML

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By Nikki - United States

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

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By sad and hungry - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

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By JulieKid - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

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By thesitter - United States

Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML

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By paulcorrea95 - United States

Boozing on the job

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML

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By piece of shed - United States

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

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By Poly24 - France - La Courneuve

Today, I could hear my daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. "Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise?", she said. "Of course, we slept together!" My daughter is six. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Round Rock

Today, my pregnant wife was crying, so I let her sit on my lap so I could comfort her. She quickly started laughing in embarrassment as she peed on my leg. FML

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By fail - United States

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

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By pistonchamp159 - United States

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

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By homewrecker - United States

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

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By christian9294 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

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By Dooh - United Kingdom

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

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Top comments

By muaythaiboss | 12

#6613037 - Monday 23 May 2016 13:24

By Kakapo4Ever | 11

#6613045 - Monday 23 May 2016 13:52

The braver ones may be easier to teach? Clutching at straws of optimism here

COMMENTS

By anyagrande | 31

#6613006 - Monday 23 May 2016 11:45

How did somebody manage to break their leg? I'm very curious to know

MDoremis | 38

#6613021 - Monday 23 May 2016 12:32

Any number of ways, I imagine. Tripping, kicking something or someone, jumping and land poorly. My favorite is going down in a blaze of glory tripping on absolutely nothing. It certainly was long talked about when I broke mine that way.

By GokuSS400 | 18

#6613007 - Monday 23 May 2016 11:54

QUICK!!! Get those kids to therapy!!!!

They'll probably be scarred for life tbh

sk8erd | 15

#6613088 - Monday 23 May 2016 15:08

for real though. Sucks they're too scared to learn martial arts now...

By renrioku | 15

#6613008 - Monday 23 May 2016 11:57

I wonder how many pointed and said "cool".

By kelciimackk | 24

#6613009 - Monday 23 May 2016 11:58

Definitely the WORST timing ever. If any of them are like how I was when I was little, though, maybe they'll be more interested!

By paris_ava | 24

#6613014 - Monday 23 May 2016 12:12

Parent: hey hon, how was your first lesson?
Kid: soooo cool! A guys bone came out of his leg and everything!
Parent: cmon little Billie, we have some things to discuss