Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML
Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mother flirting on the phone with my dad's new girlfriend's ex-husband. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML
Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, it turns out she's actually dating him. FML
Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
Get funnier balls.
hardestbutton 5
Uh, would you WANT your girlfriend to laugh excessively during a conversation about your testicles?
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Comments (115)
22jrdn55 15
omg man get a life!!! its just a FML TL;DR
Intoxicunt 6
What is TL;DR? I've seen it before but haven't a clue. Damned acronyms!
22jrdn55 15
TL;DR-too long; didnt read
Intoxicunt 6
Thank you! Now I can say I totally agree with you, because that was one long ass post.
skullbuster 0
@pimpin88: Oh no, I thought you had given up and moved on to the great American novel. But here you are? Were you just on a summer vaca?
skullbuster 0
10 words...CONGRATULATIONS and holy shit, a first for pimpin88!!!! HOORAY.
moonlight_daze 8
Pimpin88 is quite the psychologist! ;-)
wow18 3
haha wtf You're such a loser dude, and you over analyze everything and go way off the what a person's intentions were. There is no need to look so deeply into stuff and it's super weird coming from a man. Women naturally go deeper into situations and make more of what it is, but a man doing it makes it so annoying. So stop sitting behind a computer all day and go interact with people to learn about the world, rather than reading about human behavior online and please try to avoid Chick lit.
lostguy 0
@wow18, he gives helpful advice to the person instead of saying ydi/fyl and all of a sudden he's a loser? and perhaps he may be speaking from first hand experience or by simply observing other girls and how they react to different situations that their partners give them. no reason to assume he got that from some online psychology site. and a guy can't be insightful or else he's a loser or a weird person while a girl can? wtf
anonacs 0
You didn't have to do shit, you chose to.
kukopia 0
NO. You did NOT 'have to'. You weren't chained to the chair. You sat there like a douche while 'your gf' waxed humorously about another guys junk. Sounds like she's NOT YOUR gf to me.
RhymePrime 7
Why would you listen to a conversation about another man's testicles for an hour? Did you forget that legs can convey you away from places?
Roberto_66 0
Stand up pussy. :(
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for hoping that the testicles belonged to Clay Aiken.
mannix_fml 0
booooooooring!
wow18 3
It's not about it being okay for one person and not okay for another. It's a fact that men and women are different, most of us (men & women) have different personalities, different interest are better at certain things than the other. Just like women talk A LOT, and i mean a lot more than men do, and they also seem to be thinking about a lot more things at at time than men and can multi-task better as oppose to a man who can actually put all his attention on one thing, well just like that women analyze things more. I just pointed out that this quality of yours is a woman like quality. Now you are the one who took offense to that. I was just pointing out certain things i observed about you. You took great offense to that. It shows that you're a loser by the way you tried to defend your self and by claiming how many chicks you banged and will be hooking up with in the near future. A person who's whole life revolves around this fake persona that you try to portrait online, because you don't have a good real life would defiantly have a reaction like you. This is all you have, your little fantasy world where you can be exactly who you want to be, but sadly some people can see through the pathetic behavior and call you out on it.
kandi_shop_xoxo 0
@pimpin88- Neither you or wow18 can fully analyze this problem, because you don't even know the full situation. But, carry on with your fight. Don't let me ruin it for you two... =)
moonlight_daze 8
"[W]omen analyze things more." -Wow18 Actually, logic and analysis is usually considered a male quality.. Talk about backwards sexism! :-/
Kenpachi_fml 0
Slap het
goalieboy1020 0
you obviously need a pair of testicles of your own, so that you can tell your girlfriend when she's being a bitch.