Miscellaneous: Sexy time - FML

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 29/07/2016 20:33

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my balls being sucked on. Unfortunately, it was by a mosquito. I hate the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 1 685

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Same thing different taste

You've got a friend

By no one - 21/05/2011 09:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 622

You deserved it 11 399

Hey Scratchy!

By Anonymous - 03/09/2019 18:00

Today, I got a mosquito bite under each armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 498

You deserved it 173

Stiff

By Anonymous - 20/08/2020 05:02

Spicy

Today, I had the house to myself so I lay on my bed with a porno for some me time. I was just about to begin when I felt a sting. A mosquito bit me right on the shaft. I’m allergic to mosquitos, so now I’m sweating, covered in hives and my knob is swollen in a very bad, not fun way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 218

You deserved it 466

LEAVE ME ALONE

By sleepless - 25/06/2019 20:00

Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 168

By swervelol - 20/08/2017 23:15

Today, the mosquito infestation is so bad that multiple mosquitoes sucked the blood out of the steak I was grilling and promptly died on top of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 417

You deserved it 337

By whoslade - 28/06/2012 17:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 915

You deserved it 4 586

The climate is whack

By fax4voice3 - 03/03/2021 11:01 - United States - Greenwich

Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 746

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 15/09/2012 11:36 - United States - Hockessin

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 2 373

By Anonymous - 27/07/2014 18:44 - Germany - Oberursel

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 699

You deserved it 5 379

By julian1 - 19/08/2015 11:34 - United States - Orlando

Today, I decided to sunbathe in my backyard in an attempt to be healthy. The result? Insect bites over my body. Somehow, despite being fully clothed the entire time, my scrotum also received several bites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 058

You deserved it 10 552

Next

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Saturday 30 July 2016 8:35

This sounds like the worst superhero origin story. Like, you could be Spider-Man's terrible sidekick, Mosquito-Balls. Your catchphrase would be "My balls itch, so trouble must be a-buzzing!"

nrg2395 5

Saturday 30 July 2016 8:13

at least you got the succ

Comments

TheHcwalker 20

Sunday 31 July 2016 3:05

If you flex hard enough mosquitos pop

Cynakill 11

Monday 8 August 2016 15:44

How does one flex their testicles?

udaykataria 18

Sunday 31 July 2016 5:16

Then don't sleep naked.

termitanor 3

Sunday 31 July 2016 11:25

well im sure that in public youre gonna have pain

Grisha_fml 18

Monday 1 August 2016 3:35

still counts!

hshaneberger 14

Monday 1 August 2016 5:50

YDI wear some damn clothes to bed and that wouldn't be a problem

DepressedKaylie 1

Monday 1 August 2016 21:09

That really sucks omg (no pun intended)

EpicLeeGames 12

Saturday 6 August 2016 17:49

wtf I posted the exact same thing and it got rejected.

BlueJuly 3

Thursday 9 February 2017 14:27

Hey, that mosquito was probably doing his best! No need to insult him for his sexual inexperience!

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