Today, I realized my morbidly obese sibling's favorite bathroom to use is whichever one is closest to me during the day. Three floors of living space and the monster wants to drop a nuke where the odors are certain to waft to my nose three times a day. Every. Single. Day. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML
Today, my roommate stunk up the entire floor again with his rancid bathroom trips from spicy foods so much that I ended up wearing a t-shirt over my nose just to play video games in my own room. He gets offended when I tell him to open the bathroom window to vent it out. If only I owned my own home… FML
Today, for the millionth time, I walked into a complete smellhole of a bathroom, because my almost ten-year-old sister not only never flushes, but she doesn't wipe either. FML
Today, despite using deodorant religiously and showering twice a day, my roommate still smells so bad that every time she enters the room I become physically sick. FML
Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, my dad's new medicine for his bad intestines makes him fart so hard I can feel the vibrations through the floorboards. The whole house smells like an open sewer and he thinks it's funny. He now has to change his undies several times a day from repeatedly shitting himself. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Thumbtacks on the toilet seat. You're welcome.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
hide his fatty food then
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Thumbtacks on the toilet seat. You're welcome.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
hide his fatty food then
millsjoshua949 12
So get up and move. There. Problem solved.
BDove 17
This post is just about his bathroom habits, right? Why even bring his weight into this, it's not relevant to the story at all. Doing that just makes you look bad, not him. Just for that, I'd say this is more of an F his life bc it sounds like he's got a rude sibling who says shit just so strangers on the internet will insult him 🤷🏼♀️
s_ve 7
Clearly there is problems between the two of them and situations we don’t know.
Grizz8831 14
I think most people with siblings have said some pretty horrible things about each other when annoyed. most tend to be forgotten or forgiven down the road. siblings fight, then they get over things. It sound like OP and their sibling have issues that cause tension... I doubt it is one sided, but eventually it should pitter out even if it is after on moves out.
Matthew Smith 13
Humble brag with your multiple toilets.
soniles 7
Saran-wrap over the toilet bowl. Won't help the smell, but it'll give him a surprise.