Today, I left my window open while practicing the saxophone. My drunk neighbours showed their appreciation for the music with a well-aimed firecracker that set my mattress on fire. My landlord has threatened to evict me as she thinks I set it off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
netbeui435 3
Call the cops. That is arson.
Blacksxe 1
A firecracker?!? WTF is wrong with them?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
Subakie 20
Imho I may have done something *more* drastic if my effing neighbors were playing a SAXOPHONE in a way that I could hear it. Ydi.
xgirlofglassx 4
1.) Drunk or not, throwing firecrackers is unacceptable behavior. 2.) Don't. Hate. On. Saxophonists. Saxophone music is beautiful. It can only be annoying if someone inexperienced is practicing or if they're blasting a ******* Bb3 in your face. If it's okay to assault someone who's annoying you then why don't we all go throw fireworks at Paula Dean and Justin Beiber? It's arson.
sailoroftheseas 7
Epic
neonberries 15
Maybe next time, trying playing in a sound proof room with the windows shut :)
lauraaaaaa_fml 7
Sorry to be a grammar Nazi, but it should read practising, not practicing! Practise is the verb, practice is the noun. WHY does nobody know this?! OP, I'm not going to vote on this one, as although I feel sorry you have no mattress and may be facing eviction, you also need to learn that not everybody wants to listen to people practising their musical instruments. Shut the window next time and you won't annoy anybody (drunk or not) and no more firecrackers will be able to come through it either :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
You are correct that practise is a verb and practice is a noun, but only in British English. OP is from America where practice can be used as both a noun or a verb.
rexgar2000 10
Owned!!!....by 49 o.o
Carbonite2010 0
Actually they are from Australia..... ;)
sierralovesyou 0
Ooo oh no you di- int!!!!! You got burned man by 49
False_Stupidity 42
And 49 owned by 67 ... This just keeps getting better
lemon_phat 11
Why aren't you eating a donut?
lemon_phat 11
This didn't post right.... iPhone fail.
mbrooks5110 0
Not that I an saying your idiot neighbors are right but leaving the window open makes it quite noisy for those outside. How about shutting the window it'll muffle some noise & piss less people off. Make sure u call the police on those retards.
False_Stupidity 42
I can't help noticing that that is one hell of a big arse roll of shit paper you have there in your pic...
iwadasn 33
In my opinion, if it's late enough for your neighbors to be so drunk, it's probably too late for you to be playing a loud instrument by an open window. Unless your neighbors are alcoholics and got drunk by the middle of the afternoon, of course.
mojojojo91 6
Were you playing Careless Whisper by any chance?
ScarletBloom 14
If I were you I splash acid on their face and say sorry I'm drunk.
Epikouros 32
No worries, mate. You could make good money playing saxophone on the street. And it's spring in Australia, right?