Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
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Comments (161)
greghhepburn 0
Please tell me one was Pocahontas. That will make my day.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
One was pocahontas. Day = Made
rainbowcabbage 4
Sounds like somebody needs to hit the gym...
CHIPMUNKS1OMG 0
Cuz that's normal...
SqueakyChipmunk 21
I like you too. (ref to your profile)
noelley01 3
so have you thought about having children?
geod69 8
Who are you grumpy
eyecon502 13
When you go to Disneyland, you get financially raped. So much for the "wholesome" Disney image.
poseidon5213 2
How sure are you they were six. Years old, and because you never know you could've been a attacked by little people
Darkmagic666 9
This made my day lol.
MaxG123 8
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhaaha. OWNED.
SqueakyChipmunk 21
NO. NO FLOODING!
wlddog 14
I KNEW this would happen eventually. Disney has been training our children for years to wear masks and attack babysitters. THE UPRISING HAS BEGUN!!!! RUN FOR THE HILLS !!
j_cat187 19
Run for your LIIIIIIIIIFFE!!!