Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
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Comments (161)
kthsdm 12
Oh the horror... Those damn video games!
iHeartRKO 5
That's a knee slapper
BunchieRules 31
When I read the first half of that sentence, I first pictured a dark alleyway in Detroit. Then I read the rest, and instantly thought of Disneyworld. Evidently they don't mix well!
sleet7 4
YDI for being weak. You are pathetic.
JBMcC 7
Disney has something for everyone: toys for the kids, vacations for adults, and princess masks for teenagers to wear while they beat the crap out of you.
chokefrantic 9
6 year olds? Please, they were the Midget Mafia.
sellout39 0
sound like some savage young looking midgets to me ...you should probably tell the story like that otherwise you kind of sound pathetic..sorry OP
shaggan 6
All I need a couple cans of pop and the kids around here would kill for me sounds like a hit Bro
ppiluk 4
Pics or it didn't happen!
nictransitglory 4
Did they also make you lick white dog shit?