Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
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Comments (161)
Xquisite1 28
Where you wearing an eye-patch?
hateevryone 14
You let a bunch of 6 yr old beat you up?
OttersIsAwesome 8
OP was most likely taken down by many of those little brats. If one little six year old was attacking you, a kick in the ass would do the trick.
KM96 24
31 Well you cant really beat up little kids 1. Because you'll get into shit for it with authorites and possibly go to jail 2. Because it was a whole group 3. OP was out numbered 4. Its just not right fighting back
KiddNYC1O 20
**** that. You have to defend yourself. Especially if you're being savagely beaten...
SqueakyChipmunk 21
You shouldn't have taken the tea cakes. Or they were zombie princesses. QUICK! Check for bite marks!
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
That's what happens when you cut in line at Disneyworld.
Fishinaddict22 1
LOL!! YES!!!
ezelisko 1
you should have distracted them with Justin Bieber posters.
rattusrattus 18
Bad taste doesn't kick in until about age 8. When my cousin gets to that age, I fully intend to replace her music with "identical" copies that are, in fact, awesome music.
awkwardppl21 3
crap, wat the heck... wats next? babies stealing banks in teletubies masks?
SqueakyChipmunk 21
...stealing the whole bank is ******* hardcore.
marisadc79 0
Pretty sure this one is a crock of crap unless you're making something like a babysitting gig or birthday party gone wrong into something huge lol seriously
379_fml 11
Agreed. But he makes himself sound like a DOUCHE. I'd point and laugh at him if I saw him
NBL_fml 8
You must have been dressed up as an evil queen or stepmother.
zach8771 3
How did you know they were 6