Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, my 16-year-old daughter handed me the picture she wants TV reports to use if ever she happens to get kidnapped. FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
You should have offered them a poison apple or something and plays the part of the haggard villain
wannagofast 3
And they lived happily ever after
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Comments (161)
chapparita01 4
wtf.?
KiddNYC1O 20
Johnny, la gente esta muy loca!
RealReasons 0
H-How?! By the way tell them that Santa isn't real.
LaughinStock 16
Wouldn't they beat his ass even more for that?
TheMathMajor 26
Wait... Santa isn't real?! D:
SqueakyChipmunk 21
Brace yourself, 16. 82 is coming for you.
BunchieRules 31
#62 Exactly! Telling children Santa isn't real makes them believe they can do anything they want without being punished. Except by their parents, which they often don't consider :P
kaikai234 4
How weak are you that you couldn't defend yourself from 6 year olds, I mean I nothing else you should be able to run faster than them. Ydi
THE_A_TEEN 27
Yeah, because hitting someone else's kids is perfectly acceptable in our society.
Fishinaddict22 1
I'm with 17, what did they do? Just lay there and take it? At the very least they could have ran... Noone is saying go hulk on them, as hillarious as that would be lol!! But seriously, they are six...
SirJamin 4
Yeah if your getting savagely beaten then that's when you start to push.
j_cat187 19
So your going to tell your friends you got mugged 6 cholos, mercilessly beating up four of them untill you took a bat to the back of the head?
OneLittleAdditio 9
maybe they were very strong adult midgets!
dancinwookie 21
That's what I was thinking! A motorcycle gang of midgets rolling into town kicking ass and taking names. The Disney princess masks were just to throw OP, and the police, off their tail. Genius plan.
warsun 27
They ride plastic tricycles
thenewlautner 4
yeah, I saw them. cinderella knows mixed martial arts!
NNR 0
Dam
Gtaylorfication 0
Like the ones beavers use?
noYOUdo2much 0
Now you know how the Brothers Grimm feel.
hapetreefriend 1
Dem Disney princes will **** you up!
SliceOfCake 9
Did I miss the part of the FML where the little girls switched genders?
Pmartin 5
That's harsh