Money, Transportation, Cake and Cars: The cake was not a lie.

The cake was not a lie.

By Alex Knight - 07/11/2017 19:00

Today, I bought a cake. I then immediately forgot what I was carrying, opened the door to my car, and tossed the bag into the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 4 144

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 667

You deserved it 32 081

By MJensen - 10/05/2016 21:57 - Denmark - Herlev

Today, I wanted to be nice to my boyfriend and buy him a cake. Not only did I drop it in the bus, when I got home I forgot that I'd put it on my bed, and sat on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 002

You deserved it 4 282

Baked

By non-baker - 18/03/2015 02:12 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I baked a cake for when my mum came home. I did everything I needed to do and put it in the oven, set the timer and went to do some things around the house. When my mum came home, she asked why there was a uncooked cake mix sitting in the oven. I forgot to turn the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 147

You deserved it 9 037

Party for One!

By Sam - 08/12/2017 01:30

Today, at the supermarket, I bought a cake and had my friend's name put on it. It wasn't anyone's birthday, I just wanted to feel less ashamed about buying a whole cake for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 2 154

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 05:51

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 843

You deserved it 36 790

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 518

You deserved it 802

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 686

You deserved it 10 339

By Anonymous - 04/11/2010 23:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 314

You deserved it 8 536

By Sherressa - 02/12/2013 20:04 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 627

You deserved it 28 089

By CarSick - 23/02/2011 03:55 - United States

Today, I threw up in the car. While driving. The good news though, I had a bag to catch it all. Bad news? The bag had a giant hole in the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 3 869

exileonmainst 16

Tuesday 7 November 2017 19:11

That’s a confession! Bring him to justice for the atrocities comitted against the cake!

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 8 November 2017 5:56

YOU DARE MURDER OUR LORD AND SAVOIR CAKE?!!? THOU SHALT BE STONED TO DEATH FOR SUCH CRIMES!!!!

Comments

exileonmainst 16

Tuesday 7 November 2017 19:11

That’s a confession! Bring him to justice for the atrocities comitted against the cake!

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 7 November 2017 19:44

it shouldn't matter if you're going to eat that on your own.. it should probably taste the same but look different, have at it.

Cali 54

Wednesday 8 November 2017 21:29

The only thing sadder than lonely cake is smashed lonely cake.

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 7 November 2017 20:01

Make cakeballs from the mess — they are much cooler than intact cake, provided the people you are serving are hipsters.

Lobby_Bee 17

Tuesday 7 November 2017 20:29

Tossed salad, I've had that before but tossed cake? That's something I wouldn't mind trying.

tonyfan00 38

Wednesday 8 November 2017 5:56

YOU DARE MURDER OUR LORD AND SAVOIR CAKE?!!? THOU SHALT BE STONED TO DEATH FOR SUCH CRIMES!!!!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 9 November 2017 6:13

A pie to the face, a cake to the seat. What did these baked goods ever do to people?

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The Top

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 077

You deserved it 2 245

Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 313

You deserved it 3 565

The Top

Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 604

You deserved it 1 599

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 753

You deserved it 34 740

Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 294

You deserved it 73 390

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 987

You deserved it 8 446

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 985

You deserved it 4 751

Today, like I do once a week, I put my bins out to be collected. I was woken up in the early hours by a drunk lad outside, claiming he was desperate for a waz. The sound of him pissing in my food waste bin will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 95