Tell him he doesn't need to pay because you're leaving him .

Are you sure his ego-encasing fat head will fit in the church?

Uhm, no, 87, all the hate is completely justified. Getting healthier is great, but it's something a person needs to decide for themself. Calling your bride a ******* fatty, AND her friend, is completely inexcusable and not the way to discuss health concerns. He's a ******* douche, no excuse.

He totally deserves being hated on, being a dick to your fiancée and her friend by calling them fatties is by no means a way to show he cares about their health (and he doesn't, he just wants them to lose weight so they can look "good" in the wedding). Insults like this are never justifiable.

#34 I'm pretty sure "fatties" is almost as straightforward as it gets.

What kind of stress could he possibly be in? He chose to want to marry her. Frankly if he has a problem with his fiance's weight then he can effing leave. She can do so much better

Break off a wedding because your fiancé and (I imagine) love of your life called you fat? Wow. No wonder the divorce rate is so high.

While I kind of agree with you 93, his comment was insensitive and a little offensive. If he has a history of being insensitive and rude, then maybe it is time for op to talk to him about and reevaluate things. Especially if it bothers her.

That comment is by no means something to just brush off. It shows a lack of respect and insensitivity for OPs' feelings. If it ends the marriage plans, all I can say is better now than after the wedding.

Maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if people didn't marry people who treated them like that in the first place....

It's not that he called her fat. What's wrong is that that he thought it would be okay to disrespect her. No marriage will succed without mutual respect between the spouses.

maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be so high if there weren't people...

I personally think that if OP's fiancé already has an issue with her weight than the problem will only persist. While it shouldn't stop their wedding, they do need to discuss his problem and insensitivity. If OP decides she wants to lose weight then fine, but if not, and he acts displeased, then things might need to slow down. Because if he's expressing unhappiness before the wedding then I don't foresee things going well in the future. Do you? Either way, they need to discuss it.

did any of you even read the FML? The groom clearly says "WE need to lose weight" and the "fatties" part is probably just his sense of humor, and he's saying that they should lose weight not because he's insensitive, but write the opposite, because he cares about her. geez, not only is the divorce rate so high because everyone is sensitive to anything anyone says, but observation skills are doing as well. tsk tsk

The groom didn't exactly quote "WE have to do something about our weight." The groom said that OP and her maid of honor needed to do something about their weight. Also calling your future wife a "fattie" is insensitive and it's not caring at all. There are better ways of saying, to a loved one, that they need to lose weight.

Box0choklitz don't get married with that mindset!

#93: Why not break it off anyway? The evidence is clear that OP's fiance finds "fatties" unattractive. This, of course, begs the questions, "Why is he even agreeing to marrying her?" and, "Is he just marrying her because he's tired of dating and doesn't have many options left?" Going through with the marriage is just going to set the entire relationship up for failure and dissatisfaction down the road, because he's obviously not happy with having a wife with meat on her bones, and OP is left feeling self-conscious or that she won't be able to make her husband happy with the way she is. Imagine if they decide to have kids down the road. I'm guessing the fiance doesn't like pregnant women, since they have that icky stomach bulge going on. Even if OP were skinny now, what would happen if she gained weight 10 years later? Only then would his true feelings about fat people come into light, and OP would be left thinking that he was only with her for her body the entire time.

Men deal with the same amount of stress of wedding planning as their fiancée's do. Though he's a ******* douche for saying that to her.

56, wedding planning is the worst. When/if you get married you will realize how stressful it can be. (I'm not defending the guy though)

56 if she's a fatty I'm pretty sure this man is really hey only option

Breaking off a wedding over an insult?

Um because he was supposed to pay, as OP mentioned?

He can pay without being there

clearly he wants to know what he's paying for.

Some couples like to do the wedding stuff together, #3. My husband went with me and I truly couldn't have made a decision without his help. And not to mention, the tradition of the husband not seeing the wife before the wedding goes back to when women were considered property. The man couldn't see her until he was committed because she might have been ugly and not worth the price he paid. That's what a veil was for too. So that is your answer.

Because contrary to popular belief, weddings are not always all about the bride. Sometimes the groom wants to be involved, which is completely fair. It's his wedding too.

the groom can be involved, but in other ways. I'm getting married later this year, and there was no way my fiance was coming to my dress fittings (not that he wanted to). the look on the groom's face when he first sees his bride walking towards him is a once in a lifetime moment, not something that should be ruined by the groom seeing the dress before the day.

Exactly. You really picked a winner!

A monster turning into the bride?

that is also very possible, 101.

Actually, I'm not because I have IBS and I'm lactose intolerant. My diet has to be very healthy to keep my body from rejecting the meal in a violent and terribly unpleasant manner. Combined with my active lifestyle, I stay slender. Either way, my point remains valid...my husband would never call me fat, so I didn't specifically reference that in my comment.

I have IBS as well. Totally agree with you. My lifestyle changed forever with IBS.

undiagnosed coeliac disease often presents itself as IBS. I was diagnosed as having IBS 7 years before finding out it was coeliac. in any case those type of problems definitely force you to rethink your diet. No matter how much stress he's under my other half would never call me fat. there is no excuse for that. if there is a weight problem then he should calmly discuss it with her and what can be done about it, although I doubt that's the case here. I'm not saying that she should jump into dumping him or that, but she definitely needs to tell him how that comment made her feel and talk it out.

I feel for you, that must've been awful. I can handle most foods they tell you to avoid when you have Coeliac disease, so it's most likely IBS I'm coping with. I can't eat overly fatty foods, and most fast food goes right through me. In October of 2012, they took my gallbladder out. It had failed, and in the seven months that it was malfunctioning, I went from a size 5 to a size 9. I know that's not fat, but it was more weight than I had ever carried and my husband still told me I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. After the surgery, I dropped to a size 3 within six weeks...I thought I was going to die, it was scary. I also became lactose intolerant and I can't eat iceberg lettuce anymore. It makes me violently ill within ten minutes or so, and dairy leaves me with my face in a toilet bowl. It's not a pleasant way to live, but it does force me to take very good care of myself. I'm thin because of medical issues beyond my control...perhaps OP has the opposite issue and carries extra weight for issues beyond hers.

Let's steer this thread back towards the original post, your life tale is more suited towards a private message. Why do you think it would be okay to end a long (guessing because of their upcoming marriage) relationship over one admittedly terrible comment said under stress? Maybe he had been helping her work against a weight problem and under stress he said the worst thing with the right intentions? Or maybe he just made a mistake from panic. It happens. Please don't act as if long term relationships are disposable, if everyone treated partners under such strict scrutiny and with direct, angry and unforgiving judgement we would have an insanely high divorce rate.

Number one, **** off. I can and will have whatever type of discussion I want in the comments. If you don't like it, don't read it. Number two, what do you even know about marriage? I think the current divorce rate is already too high. I've worked through problems with my husband that you couldn't even begin to imagine in the nearly 9 years we've been together. But the day that man starts trying to tear down my already fragile self-esteem would be the day I handed his ring back and walked away. If you think it's okay to disrespect a woman in any way just because you're under stress, you are not mature enough for an adult relationship.

So, Alan, you're telling me there is something wrong with the conversation I was having? Obviously, I have no intention of having discussions about terrible, offensive topics, but I see zero issue with discussing something like this with other commentors who suffer the same medical problems. If the above commentor does not like it, no one forced him to read it.