By Anonytard - 02/03/2014 22:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML
I agree, your life sucks 57 690
You deserved it 15 110

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Time to leave and never return.

I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.


I hate spiders so that would creep me out so much.

just get an exterminator. they will EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE the spiders.

I don't know, OP could end up getting upgraded..

I think the spiders would rather delete op

Then the spiders would have to EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN! to the judge why they did it.

Just stop #23 you're trying too hard

Or else the judge will DECIDE DECIDE to put them in jail.

I love the Doctor Who references everyone, very creative.

The Whovians have FML.

OP must live in Australia

\ 28

I find it somewhat depressing how when one person starts a joke in an FML comment thread, that person's joke gets buried and all the following jokes based off of it are lifted to heaven. Reminds me of middle school.

@135 it's very much like middle school I'd know I just finished it.. it's like when you tell a. joke and everyone says it's bad then a "popular" person says it everyone dies from laughter and you stand there with the what the fuck face

Its because nobody got his joke. And it sounded terrible when I read it. I watch Doctor Who. That joke was awful.

Mine was just as bad, and my comment didn't get buried. I think it may have been that people who don't watch Doctor Who, didn't realise he was talking about the Daleks. That & the first exterminate

I actually don't see how any of these were bad, well perhaps my first one was s bit much but my second one Made a lot more sense after the second whovian

Bleach does the trick.

Time to leave and never return.

martialart1st18 19

This area is now a certified NOPE ZONE

Time to sell the house

I know that arachnophobia is one of the most common of phobias, but am I the only one who also finds it one of the most irrational? Yea sure a huge mother fucker of a tarantula gives me the shivers but spiders are really pretty fucking cool! No people I'm not belittling your fears, I understand that you can't just "get over" a phobia like that, but if it's not too much to ask then for the love of our mosquito eating friends next time just try to catch the spider and put it outside.

there's a reason behind the fear usually. I know there is for me. so even if the spider is small, it makes no difference whatsoever. so if you don't have the fear you really wouldn't understand...

My fear of spiders stems from waking up with a spider bite on the roof of my mouth.

I wish I had never read that.

Did you ever hear of such a thing as a poisonous spider? Um, I'm pretty sure that is most of the reason most of us are terrified of spiders. If they were harmless, there would not be a fear of them. Sorry but if something as small as a dime can bite me and rot away a baseball sized area of my flesh...I'm scared of that mother fucker.

asnakelovinbabe 16

I am with you 55. Spiders are one of the most interesting groups of living things on our planet. They have adapted to conquer just about every little specialized niche of our world and some of the things they have come up with are mind blowingly complex for such little creatures. There are spiders that live underwater by making a diving bell full of air to sustain their need for oxygen. There are spiders that use a ball of sticky silk and THROW it at passing moths to catch them and reel them in. Some spiders have learned to colonize and work together to capture larger amounts of prey. There are spiders that make underground burrows and decorate the hole covers with surrounding ground to hide it, and they even form trip wires outside the burrow. Jumping spiders hunt without the aid of a web, stalking their tiny prey like a wolf, and have better vision than some vertebrates do! Ant-mimicking spiders have a body that looks deceptively similar to an ant, and they even walk in the same erratic pattern as ants do, and disguise their fourth pair of legs as antennae. (The first time I found one of these I could not believe I had found such a spider as I had never heard of them before). A newly discovered species of spider builds a pole out of silk to place it's eggs on top of and then builds a circular silk fence around the pole to keep them safe. The spider that op went after did not have an egg sac as they thought. She was carrying her babies on her back, which some spiders will do to keep them safe until they're ready to be on their own. Spiders are scary to those who do not understand them... But just remember if it were not for the up to 1 million spiders per cubic acre of our planet, we would be in serious trouble with Mosquitos.... Which are your real enemy. If you want to be afraid of something tiny, be afraid of mosquitoes. There is a reason they are known as the deadliest living creature known to humans. And remember every one of those thousands of spiders that are close by you and I right now can take out several of them a day. Without spiders and bees, we would never have survived to the point we are today. You can be afraid all you like.... But show spiders the respect they deserve and take some time to educate yourself about them!

The size of the spider doesn't matter. I'm scared of anything that is classifed as a bug and has more than 4 legs.

I'm sure what you had to say was important, but I really didn't feel like reading the national geographic.

#112. I respect you for standing up for spiders but, thanks for the long ass comment Wikipedia

#114, you're exactly right. Brown recluse spiders are common where I live, and I never have been able to tell them apart from harmless "house spiders." My grandfather was bitten by one when I was little and it terrified me. Now I just spare myself the trouble of figuring them out and kill any brown spider.

#109, spiders are venomous, not poisonous.

asnakelovinbabe 16

152, you're quite welcome, I had no idea some simple elementary level reading would be SUCH a taxing chore on your poor little eyes.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Here's an idea for you. I know this is a revolutionary concept. DON'T READ IT. There. Now you have no reason to complain about it.

TallMist 32

#132 "Spiders are arachnids. Not bugs." - Spider-Man

I'm sure that situation didn't go EGGSACTLY how you wanted it to go

I wouldn't have eggspected that!

I normally don't like puns, but that was an eggception

euphoricness 28

Maybe OP should call the eggsterminator!

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

#108 you killed it. Leave now.

There's always one..

I would definitely burn my house down

*gasp* Haven't you ever heard of how dangerous premature births are?! Really, though, I feel quite bad for you.

Karenezzy 20

WORST day of your life for sure!!

I'm pretty sure OP must have had a day worse than the day a spider's egg sac spread all over the floor.

Not to sound like an inconsiderate n00b, But what makes a spider so scary? I think they're fascinating little spawns of Mother Nature! Sure they got 6 limbs, sometimes furry and venomous (Whattap 'Straya?) but it's not necessarily something I'd characterized as 'fearful'. What is it?

whiteboy896 9

i dont know about you guys but flying cockroaches creep the hell out of me way more than some spiders..

Yeah! I'm fine with spiders, but I'm completely terrified of roaches!

Hey sgtasscheeks, how about you not ever use the word "n00b" ever, ever again. Seriously, it makes me cringe every time I hear it.

I wont stop using a word just to make a single person feel better. What I will though never say again is "That's a shitty situation". That one phrase has the power to burn down continents on this website.

I hate spiders but can't pinpoint why I hate them so much, or why they freak me out. Plenty of people have phobias or fears that they can't explain.

Spawns of Satan is more accurate.

Welp, time to burn your house down. It's been good living there.

If you absolutely want it gone, Just trap the spider under a glass, slide a piece of paper under it & release it outside. No need to kill it. They are very helpful creatures.

Nickb55 16

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

What? Burn down the house? SURELY you're kidding. Anyone in this situation knows that the only option here is to nuke the neighborhood, change their name to something obviously fake such as; Jack Mehoff, Igotta LottaSwagger, or Edward Cullen. They must then hope that Thor opens a portal to Asgard and allows him to become an Asgardian. That's by far your best bet, Op. Wikipedia said so and wikipedia never lies.

Mike Hunt, another good candidate for a name.

lol 37, that's a reference I haven't heard in a while. Well done!

I'm pretty sure wiki does lie... I was researching volcanoes For middle school the website but it talked about stuff not related

If it's at your home, than you better do something about it. If not, run.

trellz17 19

Raid is your best friend right now

Or fire. Really I must be messed up in my mind because I don't find spiders any creepier than a McDonald's Happy Meal. Squash these little turds with your heel or spray that trusty Raid and watch them drop by the dozens. Why run? Unless they're lethally poisonous, fight them back, they won't eat you like a python!

depends on the species, I simply make them crawl onto something and then shake them off outside. if they are super small, I have this bugg-remover tool. you safely catch them and can safely release them outside.

Show passive support; yes. The spiders will become your allies and help you out in a number of ways like, putting spider webs around your house to protect you from other bugs and bees as well as-- What are you doing with that newspaper?

(Bane voice) "You think the spiders are your allies, Batman! I was raised by them, molded by them!"

katina1236 20

Sorry, but I love your profile pic. It looks like it's plotting world domination, and then your comment also made me laugh

*Mosquito flies into web* (Bane Voice) LET THE GAMES BEGIN

Leylafayth 4

Run and never look back.