RyanJarmanForPresident
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
Quack science
Today, I caught my teenage daughter smoking, and tried calmly explaining to her that it's quite bad for her health. She replied with, "It doesn't harm you if you're under 20." FML
Top comments
Crlnprz 11
*insert are you ******* kidding me meme*
randomthing 22
Oh god. What a moron.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (200)
Crlnprz 11
*insert are you ******* kidding me meme*
MoneyStacks 4
You have one smart daughter OP.
ArielTheMermaid 17
At least her excuse wasn't YOLO
cr3ativity 15
Insert *you get off my planet* meme
sarah6786 14
sarah6786 14
sonicgreg 12
30 33 (Insert nothing)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
*inserts nonexistent penis* Am I doin it right guys?
xXxSCREAMxXx 3
*insert i dont want to live in this world anymore meme*
ryrock310 10
5, You were number five. You didn't need to comment on one to be seen.
Teyros 24
I hope she knows she isn't safe from people trying to insert things.
tsent8 15
Insert *shut the **** up with insertions* meme
onlychildFTW 34
At least this FML explains why so many young people smoke. It really is disgusting. I hate walking through clouds of smoke.
GingerFTW1994 6
Then don't walk through
Hahaha_Haha_Haha 7
Tru dat
whyusofat 17
Op its to late for her im sorry....
israelnotjacob 20
I had to vote YDI because if she's your daughter you must have epically failed at raising her. Yeah some are just born less intellectual and that's nobody's fault, but you obviously didn't even teach her basic common sense. Most 8 year olds would know better.
chubchube 7
#170 thats not entirely true. Some kids dont tell their parents anything and act all good at home. Usually their friends or tv influence them to think its cool. I know an 11 year old who smoked weed andact good infront of his parents. Of course he got caught but that proves that sometimes its the childs fault. Yes the parent should consut their kids more often but you never know.
imavelociraptor 6
My parents do background checks on my friends and i don't even do anything. The closest i ever got to drugs was going to my friend's house and she was smoking weed. She offered and i simply said "no, i'm good". It's really not that hard...
sens3sfailing 25
173-double post! Don't know whether to thumb down to bury it or thumb it up because I still agree!
randomthing 22
Oh god. What a moron.
toenibbler 14
Natural selection at its finest.
Pleonasm 36
10, She's actually more likely to have a baby, which is the criteria for selection - reproductability.
sonicgreg 12
25 Has a ******- has a baby in this age. OP should grab a needle and thread and seal off that gene pool.
monkeyy22 6
She probably has been told by someone that smoking isn't harmful under the age of 20 and was naive enough to believe it. I just hope OP did the right thing and explained the daughter everything. Also, she should have had some education about this in school.
Pleonasm 36
41- Was that a "is not equal to" sign? In that case I was just noting that while others were stating that they would be cut out of the genepool for being stupid, I was saying that being her being a moron= more likely to have unprotected sex= more likely to have a child. So that natural selection didn't apply in that way here.
Smokingweenies 3
Guys guys guys... YOLO.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
143) What does this have to do with oreos!? (You Only Love Oreos)
Meettitan 14
Natural Selection is irrelevant in this day and age. There is no culling; the strong live and the weak do to. Unfortunately.
ise3 10
Yep natural selection doesnt apply to humans. Social darwinism is utter bullshit put forth by idiots who dont understand natural selection
indielove 13
That makes so much sense! Here I was thinking that my lungs would be damaged regardless of age but I guess not.
ibenj 1
Say whaaa?!
beatlegirl27 20
Your lungs and health are affected no matter how old you are. Nobody should be exposed to smoke.
eggmarie 25
58: that joke went about ten miles over your head, yeah?
HannahLouise96 13
58: *facepalm*
tsent8 15
In the famous words of Alan the fml moderator "have a sense of humor we want to laugh at you"
Nevermind212 11
Yeah right!! Because the consequences begin when you are over 40
JustMery 9
I wonder where she got that from. Not from health class I hope.
thenamestaco171 2
Could be I NEVER learn anything useful in health class...last week's lesson was "effective communication skills" which i also remember learning in 2nd grade. (Im in 10th)
lilhellian 27
No means NO! That's useful communication.
thenamestaco171 2
28-exactly. ^_^
chickenflem 8
Mother of the year award right here.
kozzard 17
80-parenting can only go so far...its not the mother's fault her daughter is an idiotic moron
thatonename 7
Kinda is actually. All this fml means to me is op never took the time to explain the dangers of smoking to her daughter. It's not the schools responsibility and that one talk you had back when she was in 3rd grade just wasn't enough.
Sir_Swaggington 6
Because we all did exactly as our parents told us all the time as teenagers.
DogsPaw 16
I haven't smoked or drank because I have seen the pictures of your lungs and your liver. Yah **** drinking and smoking.
thatonename 7
I'm not saying it's a for sure solution, but I sure wish my parents tried a little harder to keep me away from it. They both smoked from a young age so it was just ok when I was smoking a pack a day at 13. I'm 21 now and spend every day wishing I could quit. I've tried just about everything out thing out there to help and it's just never stuck....
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Insist she starts studying biology in school. Or to start paying attention when teachers talk about health and well-being.
whatsupbitches 4
OP's daughter is probably still an idiot, but in her defense, she might have meant that the serious effects (i.e. lung cancer) don't show up until she's older. *shrugs* or she's just dumb.
eoko 12
Biology is animals.
Pleonasm 36
Where I come from, bio= life.
lilhellian 27
Biology is the study of life, it also has many sub categories such as anatomy. Therefore biology was correct
DocBastard 40
Eoko - Biology IS the study of life, but even if you were correct (which you're not), humans ARE animals. So you're doubly wrong.
morgiepuff 14
Biology really doesn't discuss the dangers of smoking, and neither does anatomy. It's a health class that she needs- or maybe just some common sense?
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
163 I take human biology in school, it covers the dangers of smoking and the majority of schools in my country run it.
Pleonasm 36
She must think it can't legally screw her over unless she's a consensual adult, I think she's getting her laws mixed up.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Hey! Why isn't this a pun?
Pleonasm 36
Oh sorry: "What a nico-teen she is! OP should talk with her about this in a firm manner and a serious ace-tone, so she really learns the risks of smoking. But at least she isn't on meth-anol those other drugs. As you were.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Good work soldier. Dismissed.
head2133 12
Make her smoke a couple packs in a closet. See how she feels about smoking then
hunterluv1 20
Force her daughter to smoke a couple packs and take hours off her life... great parenting.
krad204 21
Wonderful parenting, she'll hate smoking after she does 20 packs in a closet.
ocramavaf 15
it seems not to harm you if you're under 20 anyway
emilyjgraham 34
42, I've heard my parents say plenty of times when they were kids if your parent caught you smoking they'd make you smoke a pack there and then. and a lot of them got put off. I'll try and explain it, it's sort of like pain. Some people can tolerate it but in small doses and as their body gets used to the small doses you may become more tolerant and you will be able to take more. When children started smoking they normally did it because everyone else was but they could only have one or two before feeling it and not having another until the next day/week, my mum used to be like that but never got caught and to this day still smokes!
emilyjgraham 34
also, something tells me when she passes away no one will think "she could have had an extra 24 hours if her mother just hadn't made her smoke those cigarettes"
SammyS2012 21
There's actually a form of behavioral therapy that makes the patient smoke nonstop until they throw up. Once they throw up, many times it conditions the body to hate the substance.
hunterluv1 20
ok haha, sorry guys :P thanks 92!
JustMery 9
They try it because they're curious. It leads to an addiction, and then it's hard to stop despite it having no benefits.
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Smokin' killed all dem brain cells, gurl. Idk She doesn't seem very bright, and I wouldn't tell a kid their stupid, but she's stupid. Sorry.
JustMery 9
They're*
JustAGirlOnFML 11
I downed my own comment for making a typo. Now I'm downing yours because I'm a bitch.
Inheritance 10
I'm downing yours for downing 36 because you're a bitch.
JustMery 9
Don't get your shorts in a bunch. It was just a correction. Feel free to thumb down more comments. That's badass. ;)
doodlecloud 27
Their/They're is not exactly the only problem with those 'sentences' lol...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Adding onto what 13 said, you also have to actually WANT to stop. My grandpa smoked from the time he was 13 till he was about 30, and all he had to do was throw the pack down and walk away and he hasn't smoked a single one since. But he's got incredible willpower and is also really stubborn, so most people aren't able to do that. Sorry for the anecdote, just thought it was relevant. :)