Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my older brother gave me his old phone. He didn't realize that he hadn't deleted his pictures. I found a bunch of him wearing my underwear and bras. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my sister and I have been in a prank war. She spammed my phone with dozens of random dick pics from the internet. My boyfriend saw and accused me of cheating. Now he won’t talk to me, and my sister won’t help me explain things. Guess she won. FML
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Top comments
funktown 2
why are u on fml and not plotting ur revenge?
RileyL29 0
I would send out a mass text that if anyone received anything from you it was a prank your idiot brother was playing.
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Comments (53)
EZ2XLR8 7
Being in your 20s doesn't mean a whole lot. Studies have proven that Male and Females are not fully mature until age 27. So just because you're a girl doesn't mean you're a whole lot better with maturity. The 2 year thing only lasts until you 18. But you're siblings... things like that will happen whether you like it or not at any age. My older brother was like that when we were in our 20s, now we're in our late 30s and things have improved. Don't take it personally.
sheethapins 13
I disagree. My husband is 27 and laughs at farts and Sesame Street.
EZ2XLR8 7
Yeah, so. I've been married twice and my ex-husbands had belching contests with their friends. The studies are for the average person... meaning not everybody. Hey, I'm not entirely mature and I'm 35. But I'm definitely more mature than when I was in my 20s, even my brother uses his brain more.
meh_meh_meh 2
I have to admit, whilst being a 'fml', that is a hilarious prank.
talensledge1 0
DELICIOUS WEENIES!!!
Jamialia 5
What's being in your 20's have anything to do with it??
hateevryone 15
get his phone tell his girlfriend that he's cheating and has a baby on the way. see how he likes it
mirmir89 0
should never let a sibling play with your phone usually don't end well
SOILEDIT 51
Even if they're in their twenties?
maddie2015 0
I'd use a passcode. siblings are amazing at blackmail and of course mischievous.
SOILEDIT 51
Yeah, passwords save lives.
MothsWings 4
That' s actually a pretty good one.
Julesbait 0
LOL!!! FYL!
SOILEDIT 51
Ya know, there's a button for that.
preciious90 2
if someone i knew had chlyamidia i wuld not have sympathy for them.