Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my older brother gave me his old phone. He didn't realize that he hadn't deleted his pictures. I found a bunch of him wearing my underwear and bras. FML
Today, I wrote a text to the guy I've had a crush on for two years. I typed "hey" and put my phone down, not ready to send it. A little while later, I heard it buzz. The reply said "Um... what?" Apparently my sister had added "I'm a shitty prostitute" to my text and sent it. FML
Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my sister and I have been in a prank war. She spammed my phone with dozens of random dick pics from the internet. My boyfriend saw and accused me of cheating. Now he won’t talk to me, and my sister won’t help me explain things. Guess she won. FML
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Top comments
funktown 2
why are u on fml and not plotting ur revenge?
RileyL29 0
I would send out a mass text that if anyone received anything from you it was a prank your idiot brother was playing.
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Comments (53)
KickItHigh 32
Many guys never grow up... Some old guys are pretty funny and perverted even to this day... Oh gramps.
alex6946 10
well at least you don't have it...
mag4dust 0
send a text to everyone from his phone to get even
sheethapins 13
Send out texts to everyone that you got it from his girlfriend.
DocBastard 40
Chlamydia is nature's way of telling you to keep your legs closed.
SOILEDIT 51
Dude, it was a joke told by the OP's brother.
Chrispayne 4
Never trust a sibling with ur phone
Das_Judenburg 0
In the wise words I'd Eric Cartman "I will kick you on the nuts"
stevenmx86 8
Who cares how old you are? It's always fun to screw with someone like that..
nuttyclorox 2
chlamydia's not even that serious at that age...
SOILEDIT 51
I think one would rather not have it, though.
neimato1 0
LMFAO thats not a hard thing to retaliate from tho jst b like "my bro has blue waffle"