Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Today, I was going for a walk and I kept smelling pee wherever I went. After about an hour, I finally figured out that the smell was me. My dog had peed on my sweatshirt. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
Today, I woke up with a stinky smell piercing my nose. Yesterday there was a party at my boss’s house, where I got super drunk and passed out. When I regained consciousness, I realized my panties were wet, my pants were wet, and, of course, the bed was wet. I’m 21 years old. FML
Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML
Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML
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Top comments
qwertsarecool122 23
I'd be pissed
kyarush 10
Looks like urine a bad situation!
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Comments (124)
ohmandapants 17
What a dick move...he left you to sleep in his piss.
jdogg0119 4
Dang that's funny. But you use some big words lol
Arxikist 3
I find it funny when people prove they are stupid by publicly admitting it by saying something like: "dood u use BIG words haha."
jdogg0119 4
I never said I don't understand those big words. I was just making a joke dood
IKickPuppiesHard 16
dood
Mr25_fml 14
By any chance, is your boyfriend potty trained?
TheGothGamerGirl 20
How do you know it's his urine?
Arxikist 3
In guessing OP gave it a small lick and figured it out.
flockz 20
because male piss smells like tree bark.
KiddNYC1O 22
Apparently, flockz enjoys golden showers. =]
Arxikist 3
Nice fetish.
FleshForFantasy 3
I hope he buys you new sheets and a new mattress
FleshForFantasy 3
I hope he buys you new sheets and a new mattress
docscientist 10
Ever hear of washing?
hateevryone 15
and you're dating a guy who still wets the bed?
attaboy368 20
I knew a guy that did that when he was drinking which was often, and his mommy thought it was so "cute" he was 29~~ gross
lhfireman 0
so you're dating R Kelly?!? impressive