Dogs and Animals: Pick it up

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 388

You deserved it 50 966

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BaliTheDog - 24/03/2013 23:01 - France

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 014

You deserved it 97 550

It wasn't me, or him

By ev_lyn_aw - 17/05/2017 04:00

Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 884

You deserved it 281

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 803

You deserved it 4 121

By yikes - 02/03/2013 15:32 - United States

Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 421

You deserved it 22 738

By Anonymous - 14/03/2015 03:30

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 142

You deserved it 2 924

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 771

You deserved it 2 771

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 102

You deserved it 2 434

Spooked

By fucking mafia or what?? - 12/01/2013 22:02 - United States - Marysville

Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 3 454

By AD240Z - 16/12/2016 11:39

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 641

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 580

You deserved it 4 560

Matty1188 6

Monday 2 May 2011 8:53

Maybe you should be responsible and carry a bag or two with you when you walk your dog.

Timbits93 1

Monday 2 May 2011 8:50

must have been a crappy situation

Comments

Doortje 29

Monday 2 May 2011 9:44

YDI for (a) letting your dog poop on someone's lawn, (b) not having a plastic bag with you, and (c) for being so ******* stupid you picked it up with your bare hands.

dellama10 0

Monday 2 May 2011 9:51

Ydi for letting the dog crap on someone else's lawn in the first place. Even if no one was home that's just gross. If I was your neighbor, i'd rally all my friends with dogs and direct them straight to your lawn.

Gromky 2

Monday 2 May 2011 10:12

As someone who has to deal with random dog shit on my lawn from people like you, you deserve it. If you're walking your dog have bags to clean up. I don't love it where my daughter may play, but fine. If he hadn't been watching you were planning to leave it? I have enough work in my life without cleaning up after your mutt, and I imagine that property owner does too.

Gromky 2

Monday 2 May 2011 10:17

Oh, and the proper response would have been to say "I'm sorry, I forgot a bag. Do you have one I could use?" I think most homeowners could rustle up a plastic supermarket bag for you in moments.

elephants17 7

Monday 2 May 2011 11:46

u don't have to be so mean. she probably panicked over the creepy owner. and forgot she had a bag or something and don't assume things

notbanned69 0

Monday 2 May 2011 14:01

"she probably panicked ...... and forgot she had a bag", "don't assume things" - how ironic. And no, she probably didn't panic and forget she had a bag or she would have had the bag out ready to pick it up when the dog started ********. Responsible pet owners are like that.

randomreader2315 4

Monday 2 May 2011 16:30

No, she did not "forget she had a bag.". She got caught, knew she didn't have one, and panicked. The OP is an irresponsible bitch, and I can almost GUARANTEE she would have left the pile of shit on that man's lawn had she not been caught.

elephants17 7

Monday 2 May 2011 20:32

do you kno the OP were u there. no I didn't think so. don't assume.

Dilwann 27

Tuesday 26 February 2013 18:13

And you assume OP had a bag. I agree with 99% of the angry comments: OP didn't have a bag and would've left the crap there for the owner to clean up if he hadn't been caught. 'Forgetting that he brought a bag' would be plain stupid.

iEatcheesee 0

Monday 2 May 2011 10:15

You should've ran instead. Hahhaa! :D

D37H100 5

Monday 2 May 2011 10:20

haha nice one!

brozorz 0

Monday 2 May 2011 10:54

you should've also taken a crap on his lawn to see how he reacts

Krilleee 5

Monday 2 May 2011 11:00

hahaha so ******* epic!! that's just awesome for the dude who laugh'd 

Garytt 0

Monday 2 May 2011 11:10

fertilizer

Garyy_fml 11

Monday 2 May 2011 13:07

I like your name.

Bofferding_fml 6

Monday 2 May 2011 11:22

i would have dropped my pants and have a nice poop on his lawn....

sourgirl101 28

Monday 2 May 2011 11:28

And then, what did you do with the crap? Did you throw it in someone else's yard? You're an ass! This can't be the first time your dog pooped in someone's yard and you left it. I hate people that don't clean up after their dogs!