Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
Matty1188 6
Maybe you should be responsible and carry a bag or two with you when you walk your dog.
Timbits93 1
must have been a crappy situation
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Comments (255)
Yousuck24 21
Well at least the man isn't angry at you anymore.
perradize 0
lmao! I bet you looked shit-faced when you noticed the guy standing there!
plebeianFelix 5
*shit-handed
rebecca_marie_21 0
YDI. Carry a bag poor thing!!
leeshxx 3
yummy. look at him with a creepy smile and tell him you aren't sharing it you're hungry!
samuel18 0
LMFAO!!!! omg!! nice
Blueglasscup 18
Sounds like something I would've done...
dragon0000 7
HAHAHHAHAH Ur dog must have been pleased
KristinaKreme 0
Are you really that stupid? Couldn't you have used something that wasn't your bare hands?
Predental 5
don't most people walk their dogs with a plastic shit bag? ydi for not having 1
iiTz_Nico 0
You shouldve taken a dump on his lawn just to piss him of even more
irokyoursox 6
haha and when ur done "so umm.. u got some toilet paper"
xXxUNiQU3xXx 0
Should have asked the guy for a plastic bag. Better yet, should've already had one on you.