Work, Creepy, Make up and Intimacy: Perv

Perv

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 14:53 - Canada

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 757

You deserved it 4 546

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Same thing different taste

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 892

You deserved it 19 362

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 112

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 916

You deserved it 5 293

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 075

You deserved it 17 587

By creepedouthostess - 17/06/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 475

You deserved it 3 126

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 709

You deserved it 1 652

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 117

You deserved it 3 784

By Mayabie - 16/10/2011 21:08 - France

Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 202

You deserved it 6 403

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 146

You deserved it 3 005

Delusional

By why - 06/11/2020 23:01

Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 187

You deserved it 112

penguinz 0

Friday 8 May 2009 20:12

danggg sooo gross

maedoc 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

well did you finish him off at least?

Comments

penguinz 0

Friday 8 May 2009 20:12

danggg sooo gross

alleyx3 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:12

agreed

Ambrielle 0

Friday 9 April 2010 3:07

omfg that's just NASTY! I wudve freaked!

vollyball921 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 4:40

wut a fukin PERV

ShorTiE4LyFe 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 11:25

HOLY CRAP!!! F*** ur life!

zackk5 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 18:41

lipstick fetish win. fafp.

isaiaha11 2

Wednesday 21 July 2010 17:08

did u havesex?

photofool 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

I agree, your life is f***ed!!!

FMLJFL 5

Saturday 28 July 2012 0:10

At least it was massive? Lol just kidding thats still gross..... People really should control those urges in public.

maedoc 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

well did you finish him off at least?

shhhitsasecret 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 5:30

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

niquii 0

Monday 12 July 2010 0:12

that's wat I was going to ask lmfao

BirdieCurls 25

Thursday 10 October 2013 6:23

in which way?

daemonsparta 16

Wednesday 22 April 2015 6:31

#169 yes

TheZephyrSon 3

Friday 8 May 2009 21:12

That really sucks...

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 31 December 2012 21:35

That's probably why it's on FML.

rhiley 26

Friday 12 February 2016 10:02

the sarcasm is real

Eli0 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:13

wow

shaynashakesit 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

Ugh, I am SO sorry. That'd be really awkward; in these situations, people need to keep their fetishes to themselves!

24788 6

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

I'd be terrified, women should be allowed to wear mace for this reason. 1000th COMMENT!

24788 6

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

I'd be terrified, I think women should be allowed to carry mace for this reason. 1,000th Comment!

PaperCaper 11

Sunday 1 August 2010 19:51

uh... I'm pretty sure women ARE allowed to carry mace.

karlh043 1

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:49

5secondsofvvifi 21

Saturday 13 June 2015 3:37

Women definitely are allowed to carry mace. I almost always have it with me.

betsymonty 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:17

He should have least slipped you a 20 for your trouble.

felipe87 2

Thursday 7 October 2010 5:52

I am not sure that would be legal

JenniferNThomas 14

Tuesday 20 May 2014 19:23

155. It'd be like getting a tip... A very awkward tip...

FBIWarning 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:20

LOL "after a quick glance" G_G

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Kids Parenting

The Top

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 526

You deserved it 1 300

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

The Top

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 031

You deserved it 7 063

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 4 116

Today, to prove that my girlfriend is a "total skank", my best friend seduced her and showed me the video he secretly filmed of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 693

You deserved it 3 467

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 3 033

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 184

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 867

You deserved it 44 893

Perv

Same thing different taste

Delusional

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