Tough love

By Anonymous - 09/08/2020 05:01

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 740

You deserved it 386

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By hiccups - 13/01/2013 06:15 - United States - Canton

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 699

You deserved it 2 828

By sleepless - 18/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year-old man with a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 745

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 29/08/2019 15:00 - United States - Russellville

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 253

Hushhhh

By Anonymous - 15/07/2016 16:14 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I finally got my fussy newborn back to sleep after the creaking of my chair woke her. I then crept two rooms over and opened a pack of chips, the crinkle of which woke her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 760

You deserved it 3 091

By purpletrout - 30/11/2016 06:39 - United States - Lansing

Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got him to sleep, I tried to go to bed. My husband is now snoring, farting and taking up my side of the bed. I desperately need some sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 407

You deserved it 1 130

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 17:23 - United States

Today, my girl and I were in bed trying to nap before class. She kept tossing and turning, obvious signs that she was having no luck. Sweetly, I ask her if there was anything I could do to help her relax. She says "you can tell me a story about your day, that always puts me to sleep". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 484

You deserved it 7 962

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 140

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 479

No sleep til Brooklyn

By blahblah - 24/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 306

You deserved it 7 045

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husbands rather rattling snoring, I finally managed it... only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 805

You deserved it 3 846

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:18

Maybe she listens better to someone who sounds authoritative. Were you politely asking her to go to bed or actually telling her?

Grizz8831 14

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:25

who is she directly related to? it could be that she is pushing back on you if she grew up with you Prior to your SO. or that you don't sound authoritative enough. Guys tend to have a deeper rougher voice so it is easier, same with animal's we had 2 dogs that would not listen to my mother or sister or my high pitched brother... And... if you are not blood related but he is, then she could be pushing boundaries.

Comments

millsjoshua949 12

Sunday 9 August 2020 5:55

Kids have a tendency to listen to a man. It's really infuriating.

IHaveThePower 16

Saturday 23 September 2023 6:13

Not really, kids will listen to whoever they think gives good orders. In this case, I suspect it's just funny hearing a grown-up say 'naughty' things. If you haven't tried the joy of the censored 'Go the (bleep) to sleep' with a kid, I highly recommend it.

mccuish 25

Sunday 9 August 2020 8:24

Red flag

lifeis4me 20

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:18

Maybe she listens better to someone who sounds authoritative. Were you politely asking her to go to bed or actually telling her?

Grizz8831 14

Sunday 9 August 2020 20:25

Dellarica Bingelli 3

Wednesday 12 August 2020 15:04

Yikes- I hope you don’t have kids with that jerk. Not before some major anger management and parenting courses, geez. You don’t speak to children like that. If it’s not okay to say (or scream) to adults, it’s sure as hell not okay to say to kids. That kind of behavior is a giant red flag.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 13 August 2020 4:44

What are you on about? The damn kid herself found it funny, and it was clearly said in jest. Most adults would get this, which begs the question of why you and mccuish have missed it.