Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps this will break him of a bad habit.
theslimshadylp 6
Best show on television. Who doesn't want to be like Walter White? He's a badass.
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Comments (100)
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps this will break him of a bad habit.
gc327072 31
Nearly getting beat up is the best METHod to do this.
ComTlancy 12
I see what you did there...
gc327072 31
34- i thumbed down what ya put there...
muzy 23
It would have been awesome if he had a bag full of pebbles with him and said to them "This, is not meth"
SuperKnuckels 6
Well played Heisenberg..
Danielt104 6
I literally started watching Breaking Bad today (Yeah I know I'm late) and that's HILARIOUS!!!
Fisheyedfool7 2
It's alright man, I started watching it a few days ago too. Kick ass show!
bettyboop428 24
I have heard that is a pretty good show, but maybe not obsession worthy.
calvo_07 13
Idk it's a pretty good show!
terrykayez 6
You obviously haven't seen it then.
vocaloidtiger 12
Okay, maybe not as obsessive as her brother is, but you have no idea how awesome Breaking Bad is.
feldco1 17
Apparently they've never seen the show...
theslimshadylp 6
Best show on television. Who doesn't want to be like Walter White? He's a badass.
juanaranda1015 4
Breaking Bad is a really good show but personally I think Game of Thrones is better.
TheMathMajor 26
I've never seen breaking bad, what's it about? (I don't feel like googling today)
gc327072 31
22- a professor, already stressing about paying for his disabled son's college, finds out he has cancer. He doesn't want to leave his family with a bunch of debt, so what does he do? He starts making meth!
mspeacock 6
Correction, he's not just a bad ass, he is THE DANGER!!!!
aw3som3sauc3 10
7 I am right behind you with that one, game of thrones is definitely better. I just can't wait for season 3 though
darkinners 6
breaking bad is one of the best show ever but Walter is a shitty criminal, he is sloppy and compulsive, on the other hand Gus was really badass.
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
I think walking dead is good! ....no? Okay, I'll just go back to my corner..
KiddNYC1O 22
22- You're not alone...
stashpeanut 3
Walt scares me! I would never /want/ to be that sociopathic.
borkchop1992 15
If those meth heads dont get to him evolution will pick him off soon.
wallandpiece 16
You're confusing evolution with natural selection. Natural selection leads to the evolution of a species over a long period of time.
Soloman212 28
21, after OP's brother reaches level 51, he can evolve into a Walter White.
gracehi 33
Your brother is like those utterly stupid and obnoxious suburban kids who think they're "hood" because they listen to Snoop Dog (or Snoop Lion, as he prefers to be called now.) If they ever actually met a real gang member the results would probably be similar. Except, most of those people are high school age or younger, whereas your brother is 43...which makes his delusions of bad assness even sadder.
Gregory607 1
Dogg not dog
gracehi 33
I'm sorry. The **** harvest is not until October, and my freeze dried **** supply just ran out. I'm afraid I simply have no ***** give today.
pogue36 5
If you know anything about breaking bad you would know that Walt is in his 50's and a suburban father, no where near a "hood."
gracehi 33
And if you understood my comment you would know that I wasn't saying that Walter White is "hood," but rather comparing OP's brother to those who emulate other people who are far tougher and scarier than they could ever hope (or even want) to be.
eggmarie 25
He changed his name back to Snoop Dogg after 24 hours. Mid life identity crisis ;) Either way, a 43 year old should know better.
Szaszaspasz 26
Another celebrity with an identity crisis. There is Prince who changed his name to a symbol. He was "the Artist Formerly Known As Prince" then it was shortened to "The Artist." Now he is back to Prince.
Szaszaspasz 26
Gracehi: "Flying *****" are different. I think they may be ripe now. Genetically Modified ***** can be produced year-round. By the way; that was a good one!
Enslaved 38
28, "Prince" didn't change his name because he had an identity crisis. He changes his name because that name was tied to a bad record deal. Changing his name allowed him to continue to record music without being connected to (I think it was) Warner Brothers. He changed it back when his contract was up and rightfully so, that's his real name. (:
j_cat187 20
I prefer The D-O-double-G. Snoop lion?
RentaName 15
It's probably time to stop being seen in public with him.
crimsonlover4 31
You mean he went all Heisenberg on them OP? Freaking awesome show :)
hallkchallkc 4
Stole my comment:)
minisquid 9
He didn't make them say his name.
vintage3113 6
It's understandable
fatalwish 6
just be sure to have his darwin award ready.
owencgray 10
WIN. JUST FUCKIG WIN.