Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps this will break him of a bad habit.
theslimshadylp 6
Best show on television. Who doesn't want to be like Walter White? He's a badass.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
DocBastard 40
This is officially the first FML I've ever read that I don't understand at all. *runs to Wikipedia*
happylawyer 16
I needed to do the search with this one, too. I don't now how smart or "unsmart" OP brother is (I know, but no need to offend here). However, I learned some lines that could be useful at work: "I am not in danger, I am the danger", "I am the one who knocks". I would love to see other attorneys faces!
terrykayez 6
This breaks my heart...
Shadowvoid 33
I just got into the show on saturday myself, i think it is a great show personally. I get a lot more references of meth now.
ScaughtieHolden 11
While you're watching you'll be thinking "Wow this show is crazy intense! It's amazing!" The stuff happening in the show currently is nothing compared to the beginning! Phenomenal!
mario2012 18
I know I'm going to get thumbed down for this, but what is Breaking Bad? I only heard the title and that's about it. Is it another "Jersey *****" type show?
eggmarie 25
No, nothing like it. Here, I will pretend I'm clueless about the show too, and go on google for 5 seconds: "Breaking Bad is the story of Walter White (Bryan Cranston), a struggling high school chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with advanced lung cancer at the beginning of the series. He turns to a life of crime, producing and selling methamphetamine with a former student, Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul), with the aim of securing his family's financial future before he dies."
mspeacock 6
This show is amazing. I've watched every episode and recently bough some of the seasons on DVD. The main character is a Chem teacher who gets "terminal" cancer, his wife is prego and his teenage son is disabled (I thing MS). he's against drugs but starts to cook for his chemotherapy treatments. His brother-in-law is also a DEA agent. That's all I'll give away.
vocaloidtiger 12
FUN FACT: Walter from Breaking Bad is played by the SAME ACTOR as Hal from Malcolm In The Middle. Two very different shows; every time I see Breaking Bad, I think: HOW IS THAT HAL?!
simpledrunkdude 4
Breaking bad is just the BEST show on tv right now...watch ur mouth before heisenberg tios your gus fring
Paco_el_Taco 17
Heisenberg is not a man you want to mess with.....
Dodge4x4Ram 46
you must be Jesse.
Boob_fml 6
But his name says he is not Jesse..
perdix 31
Even if he knocked their teeth out, no one would notice the difference.
Szaszaspasz 26
OP, I admit that adults get carried away with TV or movies as much as kids do. When "300" came out; a co-worker would talk like Leonidas and call us "Spartans." My work situation was funny. For your situation; FYL indeed.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
when the 300 came out my school was filled with kids drop kicking eachother left and right. it was awesome.
katie887 2
Ha ha, I would totally try that out, but wait I am a girl, Indian and way too short to be Walt!
fadingaway 17
Even though it's the third greatest show in the world, he probably needs some kind of therapy if he can't tell the difference between TV and reality.
BenL97 5
What are the first two? Wilfred, Workaholics, Game of Thrones?
fadingaway 17
Game of Thrones and Supernatural.
Enslaved 38
Ugh! People copying their TV obsessions! I had an uncle that used to dress and lick and roll his cigarettes before smoking them just like Crockett when "Miami Vice" was big! May he RIP!
calipilot227 16
Haha what a dumbass! Great show, but that should've at least taught him that meth heads are unpredictable and often extremely dangerous. By the way, you wouldn't happen to live in Stockton or Antioch, would you? *ducks for cover*