Today, my 43-year-old brother's obsession with Breaking Bad reached a new level of stupidity when he nearly got us beaten up by a bunch of meth-heads down by our local park. He went up to them with his shaved head and stupid hat, and tried to act all Walter White with them. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
Today, my brother was asking why I'm mad at him. Not a big deal, if we and our friends weren't now banned from a pub, all because he got shitfaced, started smoking weed and stripping off in public, even though marijuana wasn't allowed at all. FML
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Today, I got into a major fight with my parents over my younger brother stealing from me. Their response was to get angry at me for my "tone" with them. My brother is 18 with an obvious drug problem, but my tone is the problem. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my brother has decided to hustle hate groups. Everyone, including the police, think he's some sort of Robin Hood. I wouldn't have a problem with this, except he's trying to recruit people. Any day now we're going to be attacked by Nazis. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps this will break him of a bad habit.
theslimshadylp 6
Best show on television. Who doesn't want to be like Walter White? He's a badass.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (100)
someone3225 2
No he can't be like Walter White, because there is only one Walter White
tamarstep 2
omg...i keep on reading and cant stop laughing! You're brother needs a job or a new hobby! lmao
tamarstep 2
whats next for your brother...city hunter? lmao
mikef6919 3
That's awesome!
mccutie936 6
That's so great you have no idea.
The_F3rris 11
Rule number 1. Meth heads and non-meth heads should never cross paths. You'll thank me for this advice later.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
but... then there would be no Breaking Bad...
SacredOath 3
I am the danger!
wiredream 0
oh boy he's one of those who think Breaking Bad glorifies drugs.
NOLO24 1
Well maybe it didn't work cause he didn't have jesse to back him up?
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
I wonder if this is the chemistry teacher...