Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 870

You deserved it 6 482

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Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 1 973

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 352

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 165

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 187

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 805

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 74

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 4 682

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 42 309

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 295

You deserved it 2 105

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

kozom 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:11

At least you'll have 360 degrees of protection.

AvaGirl 0

Friday 31 July 2009 23:58

#11 and #13 = Hilarious. ...At least now you know how unpleasant it is to be a girl.

authorkid 2

Wednesday 7 April 2010 0:06

204- ikr

ilysfm09 1

Sunday 6 June 2010 21:42

that's tampons.

runtgirl8000 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:12

lmfao referring to #11

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

babbu18 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 2:00

lol that would be awkwarddd oh and seriously creepy

onibatty 15

Sunday 26 April 2015 1:51

Hey! Somebody got a bag of chips in here? Lmao!

marykateex3 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

Pad vs. cyst. Come on now, which is worse? And LOL @ 11 and 13.

azarel88 11

Friday 16 January 2015 4:40

I'd go with the pads least you could sit more comfortably

indian_goddess 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

omigosh poor you :(

acro_actress95 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

Okay... umm... you have an excuse... That has to be a good thing. Right? LOL to #11 & #13

DizzyDemon0 9

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:14

ROFL. what kind did ya get big guy? Extra wide wings? Double layer'd protection? The sports kind? Don't worry..the flow is generally mild at first. You might get some cramping and aches in the rest of your body. haha. that blows. "I'm a big boy now" Seems to fit a little. FYL