Embarrassing, Surgery and Health: Padded out

Padded out

By Ian - 18/04/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 870

You deserved it 6 482

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Same thing different taste

By hurtinrealbad - 16/10/2012 17:25 - United States - Tempe

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 108

You deserved it 1 973

By Britney - 24/10/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 510

You deserved it 2 352

Rock and a hard place

By Mo. - 03/10/2020 01:13 - United States

Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 165

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 187

Double down

By coyote - 02/09/2010 07:25 - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 033

You deserved it 2 805

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 150

We're keeping you in for observation

By CysterGurl - 18/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got a bartholin cyst drained. The doctor told me to keep it clean and dry, no pain meds given, just swelling and a catheter. I almost passed out a short while afterwards so I went to the ER. Now I’m drugged up and sitting in one spot for the next few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 74

By stitchesupmyass - 01/11/2011 21:50 - United States

Today, I got my period. Last week, I fell out of a window and landed between my legs on a bush; I have massive swelling down there, and stitches over the ripped flesh. Now I'm bleeding out my period on top of the lingering wounds down there. It hurts even to pee, let alone menstruate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 751

You deserved it 4 682

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 147

You deserved it 42 309

By screaming monkey - 04/04/2012 10:13 - United Kingdom - Whitton

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 295

You deserved it 2 105

CherishFlowers 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:13

LMAO, nice. Imagine if someone heard you changing your pad in the bathroom... haha

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:02

How the hell do you get a cyst on your ass?

Comments

msbrightside 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:20

hahaha sucks... at least u know how it feels

youswallow 2

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:21

omg hahaha

Talenie 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:22

put some gauze on that shit!!

_mcs_ 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:22

Seriously, you'll get over it. Worse things have happened to other people, at least you don't have to wear one for a longer period of time.

DoomSkuller 28

Tuesday 14 April 2015 7:28

Hah, "period."

lowcapacityx 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:23

WHAT THE F!? What have your been doing to your ass that you somehow got a cyst? Let's just hope no one slaps you on the ass, that'd be an awkward conversation.

couldbeworse55 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:23

You had a cyst removed. That's a good thing. It's not like you had a heart attack. You're not even wearing a diaper, and your wound is healing. Suck it up and quit crying.

Carribu 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:24

#20, are you serious? You don't know what a cyst is?

silveredmelee 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:27

The cyst you got is a Pilonidal Cyst, I got one too. And I also had to wear the pad on my butt. It sucked but it heals up pretty fast, only a couple months until it was completely gone. Just make sure your shirt covers your bum, or there could be some awkward questions.

JackDupp 11

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:27

Well at least you'll be able to ride a bike and play tennis now.

Sonalis 9

Saturday 18 April 2009 20:29

Well, from a woman's perspective, you'll get used to it....It'll soon feel like it's not even there. And just be glad you only have to do this for two weeks, and not a few days out of every single month.