By bluestripedsockm - United States - San Francisco
Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML
bluestripedsockm tells us more :
Hello all, OP here. This took place over a year ago, but this is the first time I'm comfortable about posting it. I met this guy through work (my first serious boyfriend) and had been dating for four months when he first mentioned the group and encouraged me to volunteer. I didn’t know his position in it until a year later, when this happens. The main group is small, most of whom are on the board and are close-knit friends. After a long meeting, six of us go out for drinks together. The others had broken off into their own conversations and I asked my then-boyfriend if he wanted to meet more of my friends, he ignores me, I ask him why he’s being grumpy, he says “We’re done” and walks away. (He told me later that he felt that conversation should’ve been had at a different time and he felt I was nagging him.) The other four tell me that “he’s only angry/drunk, he didn’t mean it, give him a couple weeks to cool off,”etc. and told me to go away since I was ruining their good time. My ex leaves the second his tab is paid. A female volunteer/friend pitied me enough to drive me home, since I lived the furthest out and drove alone. The next day at work, I get a text from him saying I’m "no longer welcome" at the group. I texted the others about this and all I get is “since he requested it, I have to honor it”. I get ahold of the chairman (who knew nothing about the ban) and he told me that he’d talk to his vice chair. Nothing follows. I wanted to do something more about it, but it wasn’t worth the headache. If anything I wanted to see if there was a legitimate reason or him being a spiteful dick. I want to say that this was a one-time reaction, but that’d be a lie. It was like I was dating a stereotypical pregnant woman. Now, I’m prepping for graduation from college and am working too much for me to consider dating someone now. It wouldn’t be fair to the guy I date.
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Top comments
  heirofhope  |  38

#16 that's exactly what I was thinking, if there was no work related reason, he shouldn't be allowed to do that. Fight it OP, don't let him beat on you like that.

  trulypar  |  34

I agree with you #4, as I tell people, "don't shit where you eat." If you date a co-worker and things end bad, you have to either see them all the time and it's uncomfortable, or quit. There are enough other people in this world that you can look outside your own job.


We were on separate shifts in separate departments. We met by chance and got along really well. About two months ago, he left the job and started somewhere else. I'm about to hand in my two weeks notice as well for school reasons.

By  cjfred  |  13

Whether YDI depends on why he dumped you, but if you're not omitting anything important, he's a butthead and you're much too better off without him.