By bluestripedsockm - 15/05/2015 05:40 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I got a text saying I was "banned" from a volunteer group by the vice chair. Why? Because him dumping me the night before and leaving me in the bar alone drunk and crying wasn't enough for him, apparently. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 775
You deserved it 2 734

bluestripedsockm tells us more.

Hello all, OP here. This took place over a year ago, but this is the first time I'm comfortable about posting it. I met this guy through work (my first serious boyfriend) and had been dating for four months when he first mentioned the group and encouraged me to volunteer. I didn’t know his position in it until a year later, when this happens. The main group is small, most of whom are on the board and are close-knit friends. After a long meeting, six of us go out for drinks together. The others had broken off into their own conversations and I asked my then-boyfriend if he wanted to meet more of my friends, he ignores me, I ask him why he’s being grumpy, he says “We’re done” and walks away. (He told me later that he felt that conversation should’ve been had at a different time and he felt I was nagging him.) The other four tell me that “he’s only angry/drunk, he didn’t mean it, give him a couple weeks to cool off,”etc. and told me to go away since I was ruining their good time. My ex leaves the second his tab is paid. A female volunteer/friend pitied me enough to drive me home, since I lived the furthest out and drove alone. The next day at work, I get a text from him saying I’m "no longer welcome" at the group. I texted the others about this and all I get is “since he requested it, I have to honor it”. I get ahold of the chairman (who knew nothing about the ban) and he told me that he’d talk to his vice chair. Nothing follows. I wanted to do something more about it, but it wasn’t worth the headache. If anything I wanted to see if there was a legitimate reason or him being a spiteful dick. I want to say that this was a one-time reaction, but that’d be a lie. It was like I was dating a stereotypical pregnant woman. Now, I’m prepping for graduation from college and am working too much for me to consider dating someone now. It wouldn’t be fair to the guy I date.

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Top comments

Damn, that's really the worst type of person. But be glad he's out of you your life.

What an ass. At least you are freed from the confines of his dictatorship. Never date a co-worker in my opinion. I tried once and I regret it.

Comments

Damn, that's really the worst type of person. But be glad he's out of you your life.

Banning someone for a personal reason is extremely unethical and unprofessional. Talk to whoever is higher than them and see how badly you can fuck them up.

Dating a coworker's alright, dating a superior is a massive no-no.

It's a volunteer group. There's no indication that they're coworkers, or that one is the other's superior.

Although I agree that it's totally unethical regardless, and OP should do singing about it.

If he's the vice-chair, he's in a position of authority in the volunteer group. The only people who wouldn't be above him are the chair and possible co-vice-chair.

#16 that's exactly what I was thinking, if there was no work related reason, he shouldn't be allowed to do that. Fight it OP, don't let him beat on you like that.

What an absolute bellend! Better off without him.

I'm uneducated. had to look up what bellend meant

I think bellend should be used more in the US

I didn't know bellend was not a U.S. thing! ;) it's the end of a penis, technically called the glans.

What is it with all the fucktards of the world?

What an ass. At least you are freed from the confines of his dictatorship. Never date a co-worker in my opinion. I tried once and I regret it.

Devil's advocate, one bad experience is enough to make you say never?

I agree with you #4, as I tell people, "don't shit where you eat." If you date a co-worker and things end bad, you have to either see them all the time and it's uncomfortable, or quit. There are enough other people in this world that you can look outside your own job.

We were on separate shifts in separate departments. We met by chance and got along really well. About two months ago, he left the job and started somewhere else. I'm about to hand in my two weeks notice as well for school reasons.

there are assholes, and then there's this guy. better off without him. fyl for having to put up with this

Dumping you as in you were dating? And he left you while drunk? That's a effed up way to dump someone.

If he's the vice chair can't you speak to the head of this group about the reason, if you want to go back

Sounds like you are going to be way better off. It sucks now but it'll all work out in the end

Whether YDI depends on why he dumped you, but if you're not omitting anything important, he's a butthead and you're much too better off without him.

nice mortal combat reference.