Intimacy: Oh no, please no

Oh no, please no

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 293

You deserved it 5 477

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 2 490

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 58 620

Busted

By wookieewhosshe - 19/06/2019 21:13

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 716

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 800

You deserved it 3 363

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 239

You deserved it 4 792

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 33 468

By NeverCampingAgain - 15/02/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 621

You deserved it 7 799

By maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 320

You deserved it 5 738

By the_lonely_life - 27/06/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 147

You deserved it 7 045

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 627

You deserved it 9 937

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:04

Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.

abhi95 31

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:04

This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!

Comments

ilovefall10 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:16

I don't care if my parents have sex, but it would be highly disturbing and disrespectful if they ever did it in the same room as me. Let's just hope OP's parents won't do that.

SgtAssCheeks 21

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:17

Might as well grab one or two and go out for the night. Better yet run. Run and never look back.

FlyingMonkey228 5

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:19

They can do it in the shower like everyone else...besides - it might be from another trip they took.

zandalee 19

Tuesday 28 January 2014 21:48

That's what my husband and I do. Our kids never go to bed before us so rather than awkwardly disappearing into out bedroom we shower together... ;-). Happy days

Mynamewontfi 40

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:20

It could be worse, they could be a gift for your grandmother.

conman531 23

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:28

I swear the number of FMLs about condoms is too damn high

JMichael 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:47

They're letting you know you're going to suffer immense damage to your eyes.

renjisgirl12 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:49

Has nobody considered the possibility that the parents may have just kept the condoms in that pocket from a previous holiday and forgot about it? One without the children, perhaps? Just an idea!

vencku 13

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:50

Have you not considered other people might have said the same thing before you did, and that you would have known that if you had bothered to read the other comments?

ilovemychem 22

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:55

Maybe they're daytime shaggers?

merryhappy1887 20

Sunday 26 January 2014 15:37

If they do plan on ******* in your grams house that is straight disrespectful i would throw them ***** away. Nasty.

arandomusernameaa 20

Sunday 26 January 2014 21:47

Sorry how is it disrespectful?

lifesabish 9

Sunday 26 January 2014 15:42

Maybe I'm just old but... why the hell are your parents using condoms?? If they are both your bio parents and you are old enough to get on FML with a coherent statement... they should have some (less likely to be discovered) other form of birth control by now, no? If I still had to use condoms I'd be pissed lol.

vencku 13

Sunday 26 January 2014 16:48

So what do you propose? Vasectomy? While many people might not want (more) children in the future, they don't like the idea of permanently sterilizing themselves or find it damaging to their body, or are afraid of the procedure. And so on and on and on.