Intimacy: Oh no, please no

Oh no, please no

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I was packing when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had three unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 293

You deserved it 5 477

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Same thing different taste

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 2 490

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 58 620

Busted

By wookieewhosshe - 19/06/2019 21:13

Today, my parents were helping me move flats. The only box to spring open was the box containing condoms and copious amounts of napkins for clean up. They spilled all over the road as my dad was carrying it. My mum picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 716

By vistingherfamily - 25/11/2011 02:09 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 800

You deserved it 3 363

By dry spell - 02/07/2013 16:17 - United States - Belfair

Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 239

You deserved it 4 792

By badtrip - 03/03/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was packing for her study abroad program. Jokingly, I got her a pack of condoms. She laughed, saying "Oh yeah, I'll definitely need some of those." Later, I showed up to take her to the airport and saw her open suitcase in the kitchen, with the condoms on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 295

You deserved it 33 468

By NeverCampingAgain - 15/02/2009 00:38 - United States

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 621

You deserved it 7 799

By maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 320

You deserved it 5 738

By the_lonely_life - 27/06/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 147

You deserved it 7 045

By Person - 07/06/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 627

You deserved it 9 937

TourettesGuyFTW 25

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:04

Bring earplugs, and a dagger to kill yourself with if it all gets too much.

abhi95 31

Sunday 26 January 2014 14:04

This FML should have been submitted after the trip.. With a few modifications of course!

Comments

sammyjo06 14

Monday 27 January 2014 5:49

That's probably just where they usually store their condoms. They probably just forgot when they told you to go in there. If they forgot they were there, it's unlikely they are thinking of having sex at your grandma's. Even if they do, they're not going to do it while you're right there sleeping on the floor...

Labrynthian 6

Monday 27 January 2014 8:02

Hang on a sec... They're your parents, probably married, and they've had 2 kids... yet there's a need for condoms? How does no one find that strange?

Shade1982 20

Monday 27 January 2014 12:55

You do realize you still need birth control, right? Even after you've had kids and got married? Not all women want to take a pill every day.

LolCandy 27

Monday 27 January 2014 18:19

Because they cannot afford to have a kid every nine months? Having two children does not magically make one sterile. Or do you believe women are ducks in bipedal form who can choose not to have babies?

CrystalCrew124 14

Monday 27 January 2014 11:33

I think you better request to sleep in the lounge room or maybe another house? Haha

BaldoktheMystic 3

Monday 27 January 2014 20:10

It would be worse is if after screwing each other, OP's parents started to sing "I just had sex!" By lonely island

bribre38 9

Monday 27 January 2014 20:22

Maybe it's your moms way of saying you should always have safe sex. You never know.

Xotoolyxo 16

Monday 27 January 2014 22:20

Nothing more scarring then hearing it go on too :X ask if you can sleep on the couch In the living room

protoskore 27

Monday 27 January 2014 22:40

The thing to do in this case is confiscate one of the packets for your own use because they'd never bring up the missing packet in conversation. Also, isn't it possible that they were left there from some previous trip?