Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
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Top comments
NakuEh 27
Ever wish those memory wipers from Men in Black really existed?
kowsee 22
Brain bleach... Now
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Comments (62)
masschris 17
But if i did that id be locked up right?
loueasy 23
YDI for interrupting him
sstahpp 33
YDI for walking 'into' him.
Chikiriwak 17
once you get used to it you lose count and forget
SK8WITME 19
scarred4lyf
sharonasaur 17
where else is he supposed to do it?
cprad11 12
I was going to say in the privacy of his own home, but...
tomvertigo 17
McDonald's toilet, any portapotty, anywhere private. Maybe resist the urge to yank his crank? I dont just bust out the lubriderm whenever I fancy, why should he?
JackDupp 11
At least in a stairwell you don't have to touch anything. Unlike a public restroom.
enganerd 17
You can't unsee what has been seen
team_garra 8
Well you could have at least helped him
VagueEel 13
Well he's homeless so it's not like he has a lot of options. still it's unfortunate you walked in on him op
Dale_shackleford 13
There are always public bathroom stalls.
BlueBaronBitch 22
There's many other places other than a public parking garage staircase
JackDupp 11
Would you rather he used a public bathroom stall? At least in a stairwell you don't have to touch anything except with the soles of your shoes.
MonstreBelle 29
33- Yes. It's not okay for anyone to go around in public exposing themselves and **********. What if it had been a little kid that saw him? What is he going to do when he finishes, leave **** on the ground so someone else can step in it? At least in a public bathroom he would not expose himself to others and could finish into some toilet paper and flush it. So many people don't bother to wash their hands after using a public bathroom anyway. That's why it's usually best to use hand sanitizer after leaving one or use a paper towel to open the door after you've washed your hands.
JackDupp 11
I'm not condoning his actions by any stretch. But as the lesser of evils a public restroom isn't such a great place either. You can walk through a stairwell without touching anything. But if you use a public restroom you're going to have to touch things he touched. And I'd surmise that kids are more likely to use restrooms than stairwells in parking ramps. The whole using a tissue and cleaning up after oneself is a nice sentiment but if you've ever observed homeless people you'd know that hygiene isn't their top priority. Sad, but that's reality.
MsFit 17
47 People know what they are potentially exposing themselves to when they use a public restroom. They are a cornucopia of bodily fluids. People masturbating or having sex in public restrooms isn't an uncommon occurrence. Stepping in it is worse because people may not realized they have stepped in it. Not only can you just as easily touch it taking off your shoes, you can spread it to your car or house without even knowing. It shouldn't be done in public at all, but doing it in a public restroom is the lesser of two evils
OkitaCockroach 19
This is exactly why RENT states that only 525,000 of 525,600 minutes in a year are dear.
2pacs_ghost 1
Apply holy water to eyes