Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he'd pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replied, "Putting my fish tank together." FML
Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML
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Top comments
Timmytwofinger 0
were you ******* David Attenborough by any chance?
iamireland 1
The fact that he can even THINK about male-birth while having sex with you is a sign that he's a keeper.
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Comments (29)
BlackButlerFan 20
Is your boyfriend a yaoi/mpreg fan by any chance?
darkfireflame 15
He may need to work on his pillow talk.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
This is why I stopped dating marine biologists.
worldclassrager 41
Was it the comment that the male gives birth or something?
I8mykake 8
Does that mean he was willing to carry all the pregnancies? That's too funny!