Not an ally, then

By acorn - 08/08/2009 23:59 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 804
You deserved it 7 829

Same thing different taste

Top comments

**** you. Do you know how many parents disown their children after finding out they're gay? It's reached a point where nobody feels safe coming out unless they're certain their parents support gay equality. If there were no Christian right-wing fuckwits, nobody would feel a need to hide their sexual orientation.

Actually, the main Christian beliefs are supposed to be about equality, and treating everyone how you want to be treated, as well as loving other people. It's just a few idiots who use their Christianity as an excuse to shitcan everyone else. It's like how some people think that Muslims are terrorists. It's only a few extremists who ignore the teachings that make everyone else look bad.


Not a FML, your mom can go eat a dick. If you were male this would be a totally different story though. You better be hot though...

I'd say only come out to her after you're completely financially independent of her. I've had too many friends whose lives were only made more shitty because of a bigoted parent.

god whats with all the ****'s on the internet

YDI for having a homophobic bigot for a mother.

107, This had better be a joke or a trolling comment. Either way, it's still stupid and disgusting.

AngryC4t 0

Where there's smoke, there's fire; Where there's fire, there's a comments section for an FML about homosexuals. But in all seriousness: Shut. the. ****. up.

aaaaa12345_fml 0

you know what my best friend is gay and I'm bi and my christian GF is totally OK with that so there nothing wrong with being gay or bi and only christian extremists really care.

I try Charlie but it gets hard -.- Especially on this subject *Sigh*

SirKickz 0

God what's with all the bigoted assholes on the internet?

... Wtf...? Sorry The "^Fail" wasn't meant for this thing...

urface1 0

those kind of parents are assholes, if you like someone, nomatter who they are, thats your choice, not theirs...

shut up 152 you queers need to shut up because fags are gay!!!

I feel sorry for the parent. Damn queers

138 That's srsly not kewl. It's never right to judge based on sexuality- it makes you no better than a sexist or a racist.

100 That's like saying "god whats with all the straight people on the internet." Yeah, as surprising as it might sound, gays use the internet, too. Are you really that biggotted to be surprised? Shame.

rmujerita 0

it's okay. sometimes family doesn't understand. at least you will be freed of the "hidden identity" feeling

Shadow_Phantom 26

I hope I can be someday... I have a feeling that I'd get kicked out if I came out right now. I agree with #8.

If I came out my parents would kinda distance themselves from me... oh actually I'd quite like that cos they're usually quite intrusive. Still I don't think getting my parents to back off is a good reason to come out just yet. It is maddening having to join in the after-film conversation with my friends about how the lead actress was so hot and everything, however, when I really want to talk about how hot the lead actor was.

birds_fml 7

Come out anyways. I'm sure you knew already how your mother probably felt, this shouldn't come as a surprise, or anything new in any case. A lot of parents are pretty anti-gay till they find out their kid is gay, and then they struggle with it for a while, and eventually come to accept it and many even become supportive. But DON'T come out if you depend on her for financial support, you can wait until you're supporting yourself.

That was really sad to hear #87 :( How AWFUL to rather have your child dead than gay. Still, parents are just ordinary, run-of-the-mill people. Just like there are a lot of shitty people out there, there are a lot of shitty parents out there. Let's face it, if your parents reject you for coming out, you're better off without them. That's why I'm waiting till I've left home till I come out. That way I can just break off contact with my parents if they reject me. Simple!

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deni_kaos 0

being gay isn't an opinion, it's who you are (if that's what you are trying to argue)

**** you. Do you know how many parents disown their children after finding out they're gay? It's reached a point where nobody feels safe coming out unless they're certain their parents support gay equality. If there were no Christian right-wing fuckwits, nobody would feel a need to hide their sexual orientation.

its not easy for everyone to come out straight away..

Dr_Pepper_fml 3

#8 Well Said!!!!! At least someone gets it.

Miss_Q 0

#8 I agree. #20 You dunk your head, if there were no christians there wouldn't be a hell. I mean you DO know that supposedly "God" hates you if you hate others? Explain that one. Leave gays alone, they have enough trouble as it is. The ones I have met are some of the best people in the world. Christian hate everyone it seems, gays, non-believers and jews for sure. Christians must be like Hitler, trying to create a "perfect" race.

Actually, the main Christian beliefs are supposed to be about equality, and treating everyone how you want to be treated, as well as loving other people. It's just a few idiots who use their Christianity as an excuse to shitcan everyone else. It's like how some people think that Muslims are terrorists. It's only a few extremists who ignore the teachings that make everyone else look bad.

Okay, we're being kind of unfair towards Christians, not all of them are like that. Still, there are plenty of Christian parents who go crazy after their son/daughter comes out, some of them even shipping the child off to a "gay-to-straight" camp, and that's extremely bad.

But think about it: That son is Christian, too, is he not? Being Christan doesn't automatically mean you hate gays. I agree; it's really just the extremists.

Nice rant #86 I loved it! Still, you did make kind of a big deal out of the phrase "It's come to the point". Yeah, I agree that that was wrong- attitudes towards homosexuality have only been improving recently. I've always wondered if future generations would start to tolerate paedophila. I mean, our generation mostly tolerates homosexuality, but previous generations completely abhorred it, in the same way that this generation abhors paedophilia. I don't really think it's a fair comparison though.

crack_aint_whack 0

People being gay has definitely become more accepted over the years. I mean, we can even have marriages that will be accepted by a few states now. I personally wouldn't compare it to people accepting pedophiles in later years, but I see your point. To 118: We have a a good portion of the same rights, but it isn't equal yet. At least, not in the US. I'm not sure where you are from, so it might be equal there, but here same sex marriages aren't recognized by most state governments and certainly not the federal government. Which, IMO, is a huge right to be left out of having.

#118: I've met a number of gay people who were beaten and received death threats. Some of them from their own family. In many states, it is still legal for businesses to base their hiring practices on sexual orientation, as if being gay impairs your ability to fill out a TPS report. And while Governor Sanford is free to fly to Argentina to bang random women, two gay people who want to make a lifetime commitment cannot receive the thousands of legal benefits of marriage because of people like you who "don't approve of the lifestyle." But no, gay people aren't oppressed. I do not think all Christians or Republicans are bigots. But that fact remains that a massive number of them have made it their life's work to make another group of people as miserable as possible.

I was raised in a conservative family. I didn't know what gay or bi was until my teenage years. And then I didn't want to admit I might be having these feeling to myself, let alone my mother, who I was already having regular teenager/parent problems with. It took a long time to come to terms with my feeling for myself. I wasn't going to risk telling my mom when I perhaps was just going through a faze, or something like that, which is what I really hoped was happening. I'm 19 now, and almost entirely financially independent. By the way, I'm bisexual, not a lesbian. So it's even more difficult to come out since I might end up with a man someday, and then it wouldn't matter if my mother knew I liked girls too. But this is not an opinion. I wish I wasn't into girls, because queer people are a very hated minority, and it's so hard for every person who is queer just to go through life with all the bigotry and prejudice there is. It would be a lot easier for me if I were straight. But I'm not. And it took a few years for me to understand and accept that. My opinion is I am a person, a patriotic American, and I should have equal rights as everyone else in America, as our Constitution spells out plainly. All men are created equal, and I am endowed by my Creator with certain unalienable rights, including LIFE (tell that to the countless who have been put in the hospital or killed because they were gay), LIBERTY (defined: autonomy: immunity from arbitrary exercise of authority; freedom of choice; "liberty of opinion"...;personal freedom from servitude or confinement or oppression), and the PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS (such as a family). Just because my rights make you uncomfortable, or even downright disgusted, doesn't give you, or anyone else, the legal or moral ability to take away my rights.

I've never understood why some people even think to compare homosexuality with pedophilia. A homosexual relationship involves two consenting adults, whereas a pedophilic relationship involves a child who is simply incapable of making such mature decisions for him-/herself, and nearly always results in emotional/psychological trauma for the child involved. So they really can't be compared.

wait wait, are you SERIOUSLY comparing homosexuality to pedophilia? SERIOUSLY?!

c_rock007 0

What is wrong with you #28? How are Christains trying to be a perfect race?

Save_Bandit 5

#28. maybe you should at least do a tiny bit of research before you put down Christians. Christians don't hate homosexual people, we just don't agree with their choices. and for all those people who say they are Christians but hate gays, they need to examine themselves. Also, why the heck do you think Christians hate Jews?? That is completely wrong and random. and one last thing. God doesn't hate anyone. no matter what. he can get angry or sad, but he loves everyone. :)

118- So your saying I have a right to discriminate? I of course am atheist, I'd rather keep my relationship with fantasy proffessional. I would love to hear your elaboration.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

#169 - I think it's so often compared because neither of the two did choose to be what they are and that the pedos are still imprisoned today for being what they are (without ever having touched a child) and abhorred by everyone and so on while gay people were treated the same 50 or so years ago. (don't get me wrong, if they actually laid hands on a child, they should be thrown in a deep black well) Remember the cries for chemical castrations for pedos that always come when they hit the news again? guess what was common practice against gays not long ago... In short: If you like the comparison or not, there are many similarities Oh, another similarity: Writing/saying something as I just have is today pretty much social suicide (what? you're not filled with hate against anyone who was born that way no matter if they actually did harm anyone? you're not a supporter of thought crime? wow, you must be one of them! burn!) while speaking in favor of, or at least not against gay people was the same not long ago. Bring it on, flamers!

You can't be jailed for "thought crimes." For a pedophile to be imprisoned, they must have either molested a child or possessed child ****, or something else equally tangible. Also, just because both pedophiles and gays have been discriminated against doesn't mean "there are many similarities." You could use the same argument to say pedophiles and POC are similar, but... they're not.

Chocolate_Chunk 2

You really think that when a pedo would "come out", he wouldn't be imprisoned or at least forced to go to a psychic ward? I doubt that. Also, even if someone downloads a picture off the internet, a series of zeroes and ones, he is not harming anyone with it. (it's something different if he pays for it, of course. Again, don't get me wrong, if someone harms someone else, no matter what psychological "excuses" he points out, he can rot in jail for all I care. I have no sympathies for someone like that) But FML is not really the right place to discuss something like that. I assume you mean "people of color" with POC. I'm a bit behind with my political correctness. Were maximalpigmented people ever sent to the doctor to correct that "flaw"? Gays were. P's are. I understand why someone supporting gays would be offended by that comparison, but I assure you I'm not a gay hater. In fact, my best friend's gay and I fully support him. But there are still thousands of similarities. Pretty much the only other group that has so many similarities are zoophiles. I doubt that a comparison with them wouldn't enrage you ;) It's just that I'm strictly against judging someone for something they can't help.

Like I said, you cannot jail someone for "thought crimes;" neither can you force them into a psychiatric ward. And downloading pictures of child **** encourages those who actually take the pictures, and so it does in fact harm children. And how are you to prove they didn't pay for the photos they have in their possession? Sure, there are "thousands of similarities" between homosexuals and pedophiles in the same way there are thousands of similarities between a heterosexual and a homosexual, or in the same way there are thousands of similarities between a heterosexual and a pedophile, or in the same way there are thousands of similarities between a homosexual and a zoophile. They are all humans expressing specific sexual desires. However, that doesn't make the consequences of those desires equal, nor should it. I do not support persecuting pedophiles or zoophiles for their desires. However, the moment they act on those desires, I believe they should be prosecuted to the fullest extent. And there will always be a social stigma for pedophiles and zoophiles, more so than homosexuals, because for pedo/zoophile to act on his/her desires would be an abhorrent and immoral act without consent, whereas this simply isn't true for a homosexual.

Okay, #3, WTF. Go die in a fire, dipshit. OP, that really sucks. ): Hopefully she doesn't have anything homophobic in mind when she says that, just something with the group itself. Maybe she doesn't agree with certain aspects. Good luck! I hope all goes well.

Deathlyranch 0

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YDI for not telling your mom about your Clay Aiken sexual fantasies!

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What is wrong with you intolerant, homophobic idiots!? Firstly, when #4 said "go die in a fire", he was talking about #3, not the original post. Secondly, how could he possibly deserve this? He didn't ask to be gay, and coming out of the closet is as easy as you think. I'm not gay, but I can imagine trying to tell all of my friends and family about a part of myself that many people find disgusting and even evil. Many people, such as some of the people posting here, have major prejudices against gays, and would not treat this person the same if they knew. This person's mom is clearly one of those people. If she knew her son was gay while he was still a kid, he would have had a terrible childhood. People need to be more understanding of homosexuals. They may be different, but that doesn't make them any worse than somebody heterosexual, and they deserve the respect one would give to any human being. I'm sick of people using "gay" as an insult. There is nothing wrong with gay people and people need to realize that. I am not gay, but I can understand being shunned for being different. I don't care if it's because you're a religious zealot, uncomfortable with your sexuality, or have just been convinced by others that homosexuality is wrong, you need to stop gay-bashing and think about what you're saying about these people. Regardless of their sexual orientation, they are people, and deserve to be treated as such. This is especially directed at you #s 10 and 11. This guy doesn't deserve to be treated like that just because he's gay. It's not a choice, and there's nothing wrong with it. It's not something I would engage in, but I respect that it's the way that they are and they are no worse because of it.

AngryC4t 0

#26, you just fed the trolls a ******* three-course meal.

RustyLime69 0

You think he should die because he is gay? Why do you hate gays? Because they are different? Because they are, beyond their control, attracted to a gender that is different from the one you are attracted to? I hope you have a terrible life, you ******* bigot.

hi5 #11 being gay just isnt natural

Ouch. Hope that works out. inb4 shitstorm