Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I’m the “smelly girl” in the office. Now I understand all those passive-aggressive subtle comments about hygiene and showering made by my coworkers, and why a bottle of Dial body wash randomly appeared on my desk one day. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML
Today, I found out that an annoying guy who had asked me out spread a nasty rumour after I stood him up. According to him, I not only showed up to our date, I also went home with him, had advanced sex with him, then in the morning when he woke up, I was having sex with his roommate. All our friends believe this. FML
Today, while at a work meeting, I finally summoned up the courage to share and express my opinions about unprofessionalism in the office. After the meeting, I went to clean up, only to notice in the bathroom mirror that I'd had a booger pasted across my forehead throughout the meeting. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
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Top comments
kindlystfupls 0
lol how exactly do you know what kind of body wash and shampoo Mr. Office Outcast uses..? kinda curious.. lol
raw_tigahh 2
how close are you to everyone that they can smell you?
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Comments (70)
JpasDa1 2
lmfao at #28
califbob 3
it's that old spice thang isn't it?
chellefish22 0
I don't get it...
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
YDI for actually calling this guy an outcast. That's so mean. Be not afraid to talk to the loner. My boyfriend was the loner, but he was just extremely shy, but he's the best!<3 so think twice next time you pick on this guy.
Javgirl 4
really? how old are you? Not a very realistic situation.
whoseatingwho 0
I don't get it? Haha.
xJASMINEx 0
is this really an fml? or you complaining?
jessicaaababy 8
that's unfortunate..haha too bad he was an outcast and not cute!
kawigurl 0
just tell them that u did and that he happens to have a huge **** and he rocked ur world. that will throw the guys AND girls for a trip. the guys will be jealous and the chicks will be curious. lol
EvilDave 13
Unless this is the first time you have slept over and it was completely unplanned, YDI for not having your own toiletries at your boyfriend's house for when you sleep over.
shuzuko 2
Uh, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and we never leave our toiletries at one another's houses, despite the myriad times we've both spent the night. Not everyone is comfortable with taking up space somewhere as intimate as another person's bathroom.