Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML
Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for Mother's Day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said, "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML
Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
GigglesNpie 0
dude, thats gross...
danielrp34 7
Some people find their grandpa..
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Comments (141)
ColeyGirl95 0
Oh Lord. . .
chowyuk 0
so who else was in the house making the pancakes?
screwtaylor 0
Did you join her? I wonder if she was fat. Imagine her fat rolls moving when she bends. Sexy.
JanisEvans 10
The same thing happened to me with my mother in law. She is not only batshit-crazy, but also around 70. Well, there weren't any pancakes either, just herself butt-naked... Gross! So yeah, I feel for you!
magichateball 0
wow thats some kind of mess to see first thing in the morning
ohfuckk 0
I like that you put your mom's age, like if she were younger it would be less scaring :P
StreetSinger 4
Hahaha, I wish they would do a movie with this opening. It would be so much better than the same old story they keep repeating with girls of differing hair color.
giganticbrain 0
How hungry were you for warm buttery pancakes after that?
BriannaC_9 0
the worst part is your a guy and you saw that. Ew.
ams116 0
YDI for living with your mother. Unless she was over 40 years old when she had you you are definitely too old to be living with her. Go out and get a job please.
sillymissme 0
They may have been visiting. And my mom will be over the age of 58 by the time I'm 18.