Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML
Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML
Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML
Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML
Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML
Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for Mother's Day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said, "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML
Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML
Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5 a.m., my mom loudly knocked and came in. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
GigglesNpie 0
dude, thats gross...
danielrp34 7
Some people find their grandpa..
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Comments (141)
NaziZombie 0
"I can't get over this view" "i know its beautiful" (looks out out of window) "i was talking about you."
Matty_No9 0
fail..that was off The Soup raggin on the shitty show "more to love" or some crap like that...fYl if you watch that show
trekkie44 0
.. how do you know that its from that show if you've never watched it...
justbemellow 0
Yes, "I saw that on this show that only assholes watch"
NaziZombie 0
hawwtt
TomFantastic 0
I actually burst out in true laughter reading this, and that never happens. My hat goes off to you and hopefully somewhere in it are a new pair of eyes
lolwatlol 0
Did you get hard?.... come on... dont lie to us.
plexico 3
What's worse is there are no butter pancakes! With all her contortions doing her stretches, gas was released. His mom's farts smell like pancakes!
gummibehrs 4
Or maybe it was her sweaty ass?
tyhillman 0
I just threw up in my mouth.
plexico 3
gummibehrs, LOL
Intoxicunt 5
She probably fixed pancakes first, then they reminded her of her sagging old breasts, so she took her clothes off. Also, I know why the birds outside where screeching.
invisiblerabbit 0
nice. did you like?
genius_man16 0
oh my god, that is so disgusting. I hope your mom is at least semi attractive and not some crazy obese thing. FYL x9999
nodbor 11
so that the OP could be halfway attracted to his Mom?
gummibehrs 4
I guess that smell wasn't butter pancakes, then, was it? Whyyyy was she doing naked stretches in the hallway?
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
wow. ur mom. is sweeet. ha jk. have fun living with that.
ijrnelson 0
I saw your mom out of my window too. And i thought it was going to be a terrible day before!