Awkward, Parents and Animals: No place like home

No place like home

By MrMagicMan000 - 25/08/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air, and thought to myself, "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year-old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 292

You deserved it 4 409

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 629

You deserved it 6 498

By lol smiley face - 28/11/2009 15:57 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awesome. I turned to face the sunrise in the window, and as I stretched and let out a big yawn. Only for my boyfriend to say "Baby, turn back over. Your breath smells like turds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 10 429

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 098

You deserved it 2 484

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 559

Dangleberries

By myeyesburn - 28/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, I got up from bed after a good night's sleep, and walked outside. The first thing I saw was my 60-ish year-old neighbor bent over, picking up a newspaper. He was wearing nothing but a way too short bathrobe and a pair of rubber boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 164

By Anon - 10/05/2009 12:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for Mother's Day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said, "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 278

You deserved it 4 245

By tommy3824 - 20/08/2009 12:45 - United States

Today, was the first day all week I got to sleep in. I woke up this beautiful morning to the sun shining in my window and hundreds of carpenter ants crawling over my sheets and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 568

You deserved it 3 079

By Wally - 08/05/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 341

You deserved it 5 747

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 274

You deserved it 47 063

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 1 123

GigglesNpie 0

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:09

dude, thats gross...

danielrp34 7

Tuesday 25 August 2009 16:12

Some people find their grandpa..

Comments

lol32360 0

Monday 14 February 2011 4:30

you still live with your mother?!?!?!

greyzero 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 17:20

I hope there was screaming? Lots and lots of screaming?

stevenmx86 7

Friday 13 May 2011 7:18

Omg 34 congratulations it's crazy because you know you were the only person who modded this one... Stupid douche..

IronMaiden45 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 21:36

TMI..get it out get it out

hollyman 0

Wednesday 3 August 2011 17:11

I've seen that movie it's called the prissiness who eyes melted and the fugly nude granny

money127 4

Wednesday 5 October 2011 13:16

Was it still a great day?

strawberryspacejam 11

Monday 30 January 2012 21:54

yeah? i went to the bathroom one time and saw my 64 year old dad masturbating

idontcare23 5

Friday 13 April 2012 4:57

Thats the woman who gave birth to u...now u y

randomperson85 2

Friday 9 November 2012 6:40

Aaaand it's gone

MissAzolee 10

Tuesday 26 November 2013 20:26

Well it can only get better from there :)

Keywords

Work Management Love Jealousy Relationship advice Mental health Relatable Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic Money Birthday Family Gifts Mother in law Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, as I was pulling out of the school parking lot I was blasting my music and feeling pretty awesome, I got a few honks and felt even cooler. Until some lady pulled up next to me and told me I had left my binder on the roof and all my papers were all over the road behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 190

You deserved it 44 164

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, I thought I was suddenly having insulin problems due to my medical conditions. Turns out, every 4 weeks, your ovaries can just decide to make your blood sugar drop, even if you're transitioning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 1 223

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 956

You deserved it 28 718

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 901

You deserved it 1 852

Today, I farted A LOT during an exam, all silent, so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I'm now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 326

You deserved it 43 699

Today, I went to the salon to get my extremely curly hair cut for the first time in years. Apparently, "just trim the dead ends" and "give me an afro" mean the same thing to a barber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 042

You deserved it 377

Today, my parents switched phone companies, which changed the phone number. Two days ago, I dropped off over 15 job applications with my 'old' number on all of them. There is a waiting period before I can reapply anywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 606

You deserved it 4 222

No place like home

Same thing different taste

Dangleberries

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