Parenting Struggles - FML

Parenting Struggles

By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 03:00

There are a lot of FML moments when rambunctious kids are around!

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 140

Plumbed out

One each

Is that how it works?

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 157

By acw2110 - 20/02/2009 23:25 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 531

You deserved it 12 006

By surprise - 15/01/2015 20:30 - United States - Starkville

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 031

You deserved it 16 470

By yogapants - 24/09/2010 20:21 - Switzerland

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 14 814

By sofargone420 - 29/07/2011 14:27 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 560

You deserved it 10 498

Mario Kart is serious business

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 746

You deserved it 8 563

Next!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2020 05:00

Today, my therapist broke up with me after almost 3 years. I can’t pay people to listen to my problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 263

By LostSoul - 19/07/2019 14:02

Today, I was at a store. I asked if I needed a key for their bathroom, and they said the door was open. I have to walk past them to go in and out of the bathroom. Thirty seconds later, they used the key and walked in on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 91

By owwwww - 19/07/2012 20:05 - United States - Piscataway

Today, I was having a really vivid dream in which I had to take a penalty kick to win the World Cup for the USA. I took the kick, but in reality, I smashed my foot against my bedroom wall and broke four of my toes. I also missed the kick in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 712

You deserved it 3 529

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 02:21 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, my 17 year old told me he wanted to pursue a career in art. Knowing he's extremely talented at drawing, I congratulated him and told him to pursue that dream. A few hours later I learn that he's been arrested for spray painting graffiti dicks all over a school wall. Well, he's famous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 970

You deserved it 2 264

By Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - 12/11/2014 03:16 - United States - Spotswood

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 027

You deserved it 5 158

By Kellie - 31/12/2010 09:55 - United States

Today, I found a hidden camera in my room equipped with night vision and a microphone. My parents have been spying on me for at least the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 3 078

By agnosticstudy - 28/01/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 893

You deserved it 27 682

By fastfoodslave - 06/09/2014 06:11 - United States - Northampton

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 6 797

By OutOfWork.OutOfTime - 28/10/2015 01:34 - United States - Cookeville

Today, I had my first job interview since graduating from university. The person who interviewed me informed me that not using my degree after two years practically makes it null and void. I guess instead of being a financial advisor at the company, I could always be a janitor there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 629

You deserved it 1 829

By christine brown - 26/08/2011 12:03 - United States

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 641

You deserved it 3 701

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 20:35 - Netherlands

Today, I told my boyfriend I wouldn't be able to get any time off work to go to Mexico with him, and that we'd have to get our tickets refunded, and reschedule. He said not to bother, and that he already had someone else in mind to take with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 613

You deserved it 5 539

By in this day and age.... - 27/03/2016 16:53 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 034

You deserved it 1 783

Messy situation

By Steven Haga - 23/04/2021 04:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I ordered some food and included a slice of cheesecake. However, I think they glued the Tupperware lid together and I didn't actually want to launch the cheesecake into the air when I finally got it open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 719

You deserved it 108

By Nice Guy - 29/10/2012 07:55 - United States - San Diego

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 643

You deserved it 5 183

Hello?

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 04:01 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 81

Check before crossing

By Randy Savage - 02/02/2009 16:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude, how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guy's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 870

You deserved it 71 044

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 09:44 - United Kingdom - London

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 917

You deserved it 3 818

By cullenthegreat - 25/08/2016 16:26 - United States - Villanova

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 013

You deserved it 8 405

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 525

You deserved it 4 722

By Heinz - 08/08/2012 04:19 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 102

You deserved it 2 815

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 3 612

By Ex-Employee - 31/07/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 088

You deserved it 1 001

By Az - 13/06/2012 00:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 853

You deserved it 2 370

By sweeeeet - 09/02/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 917

You deserved it 2 208

By loueb17 - 15/02/2009 05:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 126

You deserved it 9 697

By yourmom - 21/09/2010 05:46 - United States

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 951

You deserved it 9 499

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 039

You deserved it 68 061

By mj - 05/06/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 252

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 17/07/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 90 676

By hoboman - 02/09/2009 15:12 - United States

Today, I was turned down from my dream job at a graphic design firm. Before the interview, concerned about my hobo style would not impress the company, I shaved, cut my long hair, and even bought a suit. They said I wasn't "free-spirited and creative enough." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 445

You deserved it 6 712

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 00:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 577

You deserved it 4 165

By fme - 08/12/2010 14:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with this guy, and I ask him if he wants to take my bra off. He has some trouble getting it off and says, "This is strange, I do it for my sister all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 024

You deserved it 6 288

By Noname - 14/03/2009 15:16 - United States

Today, I yelled at my spouse in front of 20 guests for not coming to blow out his birthday cake candles. Turns out he was in the other room, quietly changing his disabled friend's diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 407

You deserved it 212 760

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 00:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 015

You deserved it 6 115

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Mostafa Almalky 11

Send a private message

Sunday 8 October 2017 13:48

??

Send a private message

Monday 18 March 2019 8:06

It's all videos of people's kids breaking things in their houses. The "Have kids," they said... bit is basically saying kids are a bad idea if you want nice things.

Comments

Mostafa Almalky 11

Send a private message

Sunday 8 October 2017 13:48

??

Send a private message

Monday 18 March 2019 8:06

It's all videos of people's kids breaking things in their houses. The "Have kids," they said... bit is basically saying kids are a bad idea if you want nice things.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 22

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 20

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 163

Today, my boyfriend has spent all morning claiming there’s nothing to do when it’s raining outside. Sex is always an option, but he’s missed all my hints, including stripping naked and kissing him, because he thought I was on my way to get a shower instead of trying to fuck him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 245