Animals, Health, Sleep and Cute: My new best friend

My new best friend

By froggylicious - 16/08/2011 18:18 - Canada

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 019

You deserved it 5 751

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 18:03

Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 422

By oops... - 19/06/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 339

You deserved it 20 057

By BSwan - 15/03/2011 00:57 - Australia

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 924

You deserved it 11 378

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 412

You deserved it 6 801

Alas, poor Kermit

By W...T...F - 09/08/2013 16:15 - United States

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 507

You deserved it 3 727

Human! I request petting!

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 06:00

Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 140

By adad - 01/02/2010 14:34 - France

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 38 028

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 915

You deserved it 7 199

By Cali girl - 03/04/2014 16:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 183

You deserved it 7 591

By slugitha - 16/03/2016 10:23 - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 425

You deserved it 1 840

Passion4Makeup 4

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Easy. Kill the damn thing.

zah_ali 3

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:16

Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D

Comments

Battle_Man 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:22

sit next to it and croak with it for a while... then pull out a plate of frogs legs and some shears...

Wynthos 2

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:26

Shoot the damn animal.

misomalu 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:27

Two words: Hammer Time

springbok_fml 2

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:27

make an army of evil gnomes in your garden.. that should do it

sourspraykay 8

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:28

I like your username

TalkinSmack 6

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:29

Ever thought there could be 2 frogs?

JTHolloway200 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:36

or more

thelastlucifer 17

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:30

why not release a snake and show him who's boss?

WHITE3TIGER 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:34

my god kill it

Grayfoxx 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:38

what a great idea it's just a frog.

Alyta 0

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:42

Yes!!! i agree! Just kill it! You did your best but it insists lol

AlexRen 21

Wednesday 17 August 2011 0:42

kill it

Keywords

Work Management Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Relatable Health Mother in law Gifts Family Money Birthday Education Parents Public freakouts Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I came home from work to see a pair of panties I hadn't worn lying on the floor. I picked them up and they were all crunchy. It turns out that while I'm away, my boyfriend uses my underwear as a vessel for his semen. He claims this is normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 396

You deserved it 362

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 046

The Top

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 040

You deserved it 630

Today, following the advice of not putting my wallet in my back pocket, I put my wallet in my jacket's chest pocket. I lost my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 553

You deserved it 1 508

Today, my mom asked me what I did with the first paycheck from my first "big girl" job. I told her I paid down my credit debt like a responsible adult. She rolled her eyes and said she was disappointed in me for not treating myself. She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 93

Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 975

You deserved it 23 671

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 187

You deserved it 8 951

Today, I refused to have sex with my date, so he called me an Uber from the restaurant to just take me home. I didn’t realise until I got home it wasn’t even an Uber, just a standard taxi who required payment in either cash or debit card, and I had to pay before he’d let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 255

My new best friend

Same thing different taste

Nature is so wonderful!

Alas, poor Kermit

Alas, poor Kermit

Human! I request petting!

Top comments

Comments