Today, I came home from a two-week overseas business trip. My wife was at work, but she came home for lunch. When she came in, she brushed right past me to hug and talk to her dog. When I mentioned it, she said, "But I haven't seen him all day!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife, who I haven’t seen for over a month because we both travel a lot for work, got home. The last thing she said to me was that she couldn't wait to get home because she just wants some alone time. FML
Today, my wife came back from a three-day moms' retreat, and was mad I didn't immediately want to spend time with her. She called me 68 times (yes, I counted) while she was gone, so it was really like she never left. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, my wife got back from a "homesick" trip to NY State. She brought her boyfriend back with her. FML
Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML
Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML
Today, I returned home from a three-week vacation. None of my friends realized I'd been gone. FML
Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
I would seriously consider re-evaluating whether you want to stay married to her or not. I mean, i realize people like their pets, but really? What. A. Bitch.
missus_butter 0
Whatever the dog is doing, start doing that.
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Comments (152)
Jcsati8 0
amen!
ohhhhshizzz 0
#10: You can get a stfu loser. And wow, your wife is..... wow, she is quite a crazy lady. But hey, at least it isn't cats. That is creepy.
omglolydi 0
@#10 Amen!!
Trebek 0
Lol, your wife has a good sense of humor. I'd keep her
GotKanin 0
amen to that buddy
Trix_Disorder 20
@10 Yeah, stfu. @OP I'm sorry that happened. Some women don't have their priorities straight.
jakerman3 0
i see a divorce in the near future, jk, but she was probably joking
Clutch118 0
I'd cut that bitch. lol
s3p2 0
amen amen amen
suicidekings 0
the dog's tongue is bigger than yours. 'nough said. (: