Today, I can hear my flatmate masturbating loudly and asking himself if he likes it. And replying. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I share a room with a person who masturbates noisily every morning at 5 a.m. like clockwork. Only I can't really say anything, because she's literally deaf. I wish she could hear herself. FML
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, as usual, my flatmate is so loud when talking face to face that my ears and head rattle. I can't say anything because how dare I suggest there's anything wrong with my roommate's hearing. Yet nobody else talks this loud. FML
Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Well at least he's not saying, "You like that? HUH? DO YA?" "NO! Please stop! AAAAHHHH!" That would be awkward.
heythere131630 9
You live with Golem???
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Comments (137)
animalover721 3
U don't hear that everyday....
shmoelover 13
Apparently Op will.
ollie179 21
Well at least he's not saying, "You like that? HUH? DO YA?" "NO! Please stop! AAAAHHHH!" That would be awkward.
tarickman 13
Is it a crime to rape yourself?
Pleonasm 35
I guess it depends. If you try to rape yourself, you'd be concious of your act right? So it would be in a way consensual because to do the act, you have to allow yourself to do it, so there is a consensus between mind and body. SO just masturbation. That's my view. But, if you have an evil alter-ego/subconcious/split personality, and you're in a situation where you can't control it, they could convince part of you to rape yourself, and maybe that would be rape. Like your evil side getting you drunk so it can take advantage of your hand. Hmm. You've definitely given me food for thought.
da_directioner39 17
How badly did he want to fellate himself?
poccocurantes 7
What about alien hand syndrome?
Bevo1017 5
You can't rape the willing
banananread112 5
If you are a conjoined twin and that happened would it be considered rape?
SweetLuna 10
Dude, omg, that's so funny... LOL
igive 29
Is he aware you can hear him?
Ozuru 11
Jill ;).
RoboCunnilingus 23
Oh. Kinky.
bugmenotmofo 34
Split personality?
Zomg_Okay 26
[edit]
ICastillo 24
Palmela Handerson
MidnightWolf3 12
Do the same right back, see if they then notice you can hear someone doing it.
crazycatlady5 6
"Mutual masturbation"
aly_pinay22 8
Why don't you reply for him? Haha