Intimacy: Make it stop

Make it stop

By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for three hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 214

You deserved it 5 514

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 068

You deserved it 3 887

By bitchasaurusrex - 15/02/2011 21:24 - Canada

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 486

You deserved it 3 415

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 229

You deserved it 96 429

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 813

You deserved it 37 514

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 854

You deserved it 11 965

Stop talking, stop talking now

By Anonymous - 14/06/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 117

You deserved it 2 660

Sinking feeling

By aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 6 286

All figured out

By Toroka - 29/07/2016 18:59

Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 953

You deserved it 1 019

By ReallyMom - 09/01/2014 21:48 - United States - Shawano

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 675

You deserved it 5 202

By lobotomy pls - 11/09/2015 18:40 - United States - Tappahannock

Today, I walked in on my mom, legs spread and changing her tampon, all while she was carrying on a conversation on the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 390

You deserved it 4 515

MrJentipede 2

Monday 25 May 2009 16:04

Thanks for the heads up, mom.

mucrew 0

Monday 25 May 2009 16:05

you should have said "yea i agree"! and gotten into a deep discussion with her...so she'll feel really awkward too! haha

Comments

NobodysLover 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:05

just what you need your mom telling you all about her private things for the next 3 hours thank mom you're the best

lilbigman 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:07

Gonna copy an idea here. There should be a mum category on this website for things like this

Glam_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:07

I would have started going on and on about MY sex life (assuming you have one). That probably would have shut her up. FYL anyway though - it's nice to have parents that are open, but sometimes there are just thing you never want to talk about. I think this qualifies.

HeyyyBrahhh 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:12

Any good tips?

Tehalon 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:13

You should have said "I like anal". If that wouldn't kill the conv then personally i would have just said cya at home mom, ill walk kthx! :D FYL

madam_mayham 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:15

I hope you're over the age of 18 because if you're not...that's straight up child abuse.

BaldOuting 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:31

mom needs to get some friends.

guinness_fml 0

Monday 25 May 2009 17:32

Wow, that's even worse than when I was stuck in traffic with my mom and she told me that my older brother, twin sister, and I are all test-tube babies, because she and dad just weren't having any luck making us the natural way. Then she described my younger brother as a "surprise."

Pirate_argh 6

Monday 25 May 2009 17:38

Argg, i know exactly how hard it is to tell, that you actually feel uncomfortable about the current conversation.. FYL, no doubt.. I really feel sorry for you =( (Hilarious though :b)