Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Make it stop

Make it stop

By shitty shit - 26/05/2015 15:40 - United States - Carmel

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 3 889

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Same thing different taste

Not a good look

By tamponface - 30/07/2011 12:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 152

You deserved it 9 914

You what?

By unknown - 02/11/2013 21:10 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 498

You deserved it 6 892

By Forever alone - 01/05/2015 14:24 - United States - Lincoln

Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 704

You deserved it 12 504

By anonymous - 04/04/2013 22:52 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 737

You deserved it 4 182

By PPP - 28/04/2015 15:05 - United States

Today, I overheard my mom giving my 6-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 651

You deserved it 3 327

Awkward

By Jeremy - 07/08/2009 02:03 - United States

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 335

You deserved it 7 415

You happened

By Anonymous - 10/09/2009 09:13 - New Zealand

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 490

You deserved it 7 847

Bad start

By Tripp - 14/07/2019 14:00

Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 592

By I'm stupid - 25/11/2012 15:08 - United States - Naperville

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 610

You deserved it 37 929

The talk

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 331

You deserved it 2 278

_kyleG_ 34

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:37

At first, this sounded like she gave you the sex talk in kindergarten... I might be a bad person for this, but THAT would've been funny!

ktm71125 19

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:34

We all have weird stories from childhood OP! Except the sex talk might have been awkward.

Comments

holly_24135 18

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:50

Should we not be asking the age of op?

chef4money 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 0:50

That is awesome op, thank you for the laugh. I'm sure at the time you were worried about being a very young mother but it's cracking me up. When I was that age I swallowed a nickel and my brother told me that meant I would get aids. I was a crying mess, it's still a vivid memory for me.

91hayek 31

Wednesday 27 May 2015 1:20

Older siblings are the worst. I can't be the only one scared stiff because of their trolling. My older sister told me I would now be growing watermelons in my stomach because I swallowed the seeds.

chef4money 12

Wednesday 27 May 2015 3:28

It didn't help that he is 8 years older than me, so I looked at him as an adult. He showed me my cabbage patch doll birth certificate and told me it was mine and that I was adopted and I believed him. I was worked up for weeks over that one. I cried too when my Nana told me I would grow watermelons in my stomach from the seeds. Jesus I just realised everyone in my family tormented me. That explains so much about why I am the way I am.

praesidiem 16

Wednesday 27 May 2015 7:31

Your guys' stories all seem like good-natured older sibling teasing. My grandad told me that zebras, were giraffes and vice versa. You should've seen the looks I got in elementary school when the class found out I loved "giraffes."