By Megan Caird - 13/10/2018 12:22 - United States - Asbury Park

Today, my boyfriend's mother informed me that when I visit him next month, he is planning to propose. We have a long-distance relationship and I've been thinking of breaking it off. His friends and family are involved with the proposal he planned. They're all going to hate me. FML
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Top comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

I think the kindest thing to do is to end it before you visit him. It might be wrong for you to avoid a face-to-face break-up, but if you can't see yourself marrying the guy, do you really want to turn up at the airport or wherever, only for him to ambush you with the proposal the second you arrive? And what would you do if you rejected him at the start of your visit? Hang out as friends with a guy you just crushed emotionally? Not to mention be around his family and friends, who will hate you.

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aljonking 11

Better to be hated for breaking it off Now then getting into something that’s doomed to fail seeing you didn’t want it in the first place

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Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

I think the kindest thing to do is to end it before you visit him. It might be wrong for you to avoid a face-to-face break-up, but if you can't see yourself marrying the guy, do you really want to turn up at the airport or wherever, only for him to ambush you with the proposal the second you arrive? And what would you do if you rejected him at the start of your visit? Hang out as friends with a guy you just crushed emotionally? Not to mention be around his family and friends, who will hate you.

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chosha_fml 26

You should let him know it’s too soon for a proposal, so at least he doesn’t go ahead with involving all his friends and family. If this is someone you could see yourself marrying at some point, you have to be honest with him about your doubts and fears and see what can and can’t be resolved. Good luck with it all!

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Razell 13

Write down a list of the pros and cons of a permanent relationship with him. Figure out which of the cons are your fears which have nothing to do with <i>him specifically</i>, and which of the cons are things that he does. Get counseling for the fears that don't have to do with him specifically - if you don't those will cause problems whether you marry him or not. Decide whether you can live with the cons that are things that he does. Decide whether the pros outweigh those cons. If all else fails, flip a coin. Heads, you marry him; tails, you break up. If the result fills you with dread, then don't do it.

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1known 30

You didn't give us enough details (and don't have to) about your fears, but have this in mind: no one is ever ready for a marriage. The moment is never perfect and you'll never know how your married life will be. But that's Life. And it is great it is that way. Thinking of it, I'll add that you're ready, when you are ready to make your spouse your number one priority above any other. If he's ready to do the same... why waiting?

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aljonking 11

Better to be hated for breaking it off Now then getting into something that’s doomed to fail seeing you didn’t want it in the first place

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pscool 11

The fact that he hasn’t talked to you about getting married and you both agreed that’s where and when you want to get married. Is a Red flag Open and honest communication is key for a relationship let alone taking the big step of saying you want to be together for life and start a family. There needs to be a public service announcement to guys that the surprise of proposing is the exact time and location. Not the asking if she wants to that the relationship to the next level. Communication!! Be nice and strong and brake it off ASAP if you have this feelings.

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blondie45 21

Today I went onto FML for the first time and saw that my girlfriend, Megan Caird, has posted an FML about how she’s heard I want to propose to her but she wants to break it off. So now the whole world knows about this before I do and I feel like a complete loser. FML.

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onceuponatime456 16

If it IS you she is talking about, maybe YOU should talk to her BEFORE you blab your mouth to your mother about proposing! You might want to talk to your mother to about her being a blabbermouth, too!

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Razell 13

So break it off now, over the phone. it's not the best, but it's better than breaking up with him at the proposal.

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onceuponatime456 16

Cancel the visit and break it off! There is no need whatsoever for you to go see him.

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Johnny5 16

And? Are you still going to interact much with your ex’s friends and family? Important to remember that in life not everyone will like you and that’s ok.

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Jalero916 12

"Something came up and you can't go!" Don't put yourself in that position to reject him publicly - especially in front of all his friends & family!!!!

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