Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
pencilmustache 0
rule of thumb: stop tanning. oopma loompa's are not cute. neither is skin cancer.
TerAki 0
Raccoons are awesome.
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Comments (110)
deni_kaos 0
you know you're not suppose to tan. if you want color, you have to get it from like, jogging or playing in the water at the beach. you aren't supposed to go outside for the purpose of tanning, because you will get too much sunlight and that can cause kinda of bad crap to your skin...!
dingleberrybop 0
if you knew you had a job interview, you should've done occupational stuff to keep you from falling asleep. it's your fault.
JustAGirl_fml 0
You're really not supposed to do things like tan, get a hair cut and other drastic changes the day before a big event. Have you ever read any women's magazines?
TheUltamiteBeast 0
I personally think this is a "yay my life!"
Jessyca_fml 0
LoL I have seen people that fall asleep when they are just trying to get a tan and it is very funny :) I think you should try your hardest if you are tired to just go inside the house and get a tan later. Instead of getting burned on one side. That will suck for you when tomorrow comes around and that interviewer looks at your face.
hattar 0
lol! raccoon
scrambles_dthdlr 0
Who knows, maybe your potential employer will find it endearing...
justjayit 0
I still don't understand why you're not happy with the skin color you have. And why were you doing it before a job interview anyway?
TheBulletPrince 0
**** YOU. At least you have an interview.
bk9137 0
You can't get a good tan if your wearing sunglasses... your eyes has to sense light in order for your body to produce melanin...