Today, it was lovely outside so I decided to tan outside. I burn pretty easily, so I put on sunscreen. I fell asleep on my side, so when I woke up, I had a massive burn on only one side of my body, with sunglass lines. Tomorrow, I have a job interview. I'm going to go in looking like a racoon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the beach. After applying sunscreen liberally and doing my best to stay out of the sun, I came home with the worst sunburn I have ever had. I almost needed to go to the hospital. I am officially too pale to be allowed outside in summer. FML
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was really badly sunburnt, so I put on some after-sun. The only type we have has glitter in it, and now I look like a sparkling tomato. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, I had a job interview and things were going really well until I noticed the woman interviewing me staring at the inside of my elbow. I am recovering from a poison sumac rash, and each spot looks like a puncture wound from a syringe. I was dismissed before the interview was over. FML
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, it was boiling hot so my boyfriend and I decided to sunbathe in the garden and ended up falling asleep for a few hours. Not only is my back so burnt that I can't lie down, I also have a white hand print on my upper back where my boyfriend had left his arm while we slept. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
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Top comments
pencilmustache 0
rule of thumb: stop tanning. oopma loompa's are not cute. neither is skin cancer.
TerAki 0
Raccoons are awesome.
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Comments (110)
dr_house_MD 0
fake cuz if ur on ur side how can the sun be on your face?
iJack 0
#71 so they dont burn, as bad. But they used a low spf. #72. Your a fail. Think about it.
jumpgurl23 0
#57 its obvious most of these are not true but its just a little boring when people make up the same crap over and over. and the first thing people say is "its fake, saw this on bash.org, saw this on tv"...idk if your gonna make it up think of something different.
mattmag 0
unless you're interviewing to be a stripper or something, it shouldn't matter much.
chalkdust 4
#74 My a fail, indeed. Learn grammar.
jeebuscripes 0
... like half of a raccoon. heh.
shineyourlight_x 0
HAHA, I don't feel bad for you in the least. It's not my fault you lack common sense.
Contra 0
So now people attend job interviews half naked?
Sessee 4
Sounds like Kim Kardashian.
dani3oh3 0
god these people are so harsh! i feel sorry for you. how would all those other people like it if it was their FML being trashed. Like i said, poor you.