Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were using our Skype accounts for the first time. He went to the restroom and I thought that I'd surprise him with my clothes off for when he came back. I heard him walk back into the room so I got into position. It wasn't him. It was his mom. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Today, I was on Skype with a guy I really like, in the living room. My dad saw that I was on video chat, got undressed, right down to his bright green y-fronts, and then started dancing behind me. My crush saw it all. FML
Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML
Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
boofgall 16
Probably because dirty talk to anyone outside of the party just sounds corny, cheesy or hilarious. Anybody not in that mood would find it funny, if not weirded out.
onlychildFTW 34
Never do this at a parents house. Especially with parents home. I hope you learned your lesson OP.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
At least you no longer have to the sex talk.
slushyslime 7
It's called headphones with a mike . And be soft . It's sexier when you whisper anyway
Dcm210 19
That's why you type but still take your clothes off.
BananerzFresh 12
Lol. You Shouldn't have assumed.
doglover100 29
I don't do anything I don't want my parents seeing when they are home.
alexstylespayne 6
My dad would of sat me down and have a lecture on sex not laugh about
BoratSagdiyev 2
I can see how it would be funny to a brother or cousin or something, but not dad. I'm not naive I know my daughter will grow up and like sex and boys (or girls) but I couldn't listen to her talk like that. I'd run back to bed and have my wife spoon and comfort me.
needsagf14 12
Overbearing parents ftw
Marrach 7
50- I'm not stupid, so why are you commenting towards me again? And I believe they're called "hackers". It's not a flaw, it's knowing what you're doing and people being creepy f**ks.
catchmeifyoucan3 9
wow haha I've gotten caught once with my long-distance boyfriend also... :$ except for I got in deep shit...